Unconditional love

My dogs loved me unconditionally. They never did anything on purpose to hurt me. They just wanted to love me and for me to love them back. I miss that. I miss it terribly. It's hard to get that from humans, but a dog is always there to make you feel like you're the most important thing in their world and they'd do anything for you. I miss the unconditional love of my dogs. I just plain miss my dogs.

I feel guilty when I read their profiles online because it makes me see what great dogs they are and what I'm missing out on. I read the profile and think 'I'd adopt him in a minute!'. That's where the guilt comes in. Could I have done more? Should I just have been more patient? Did I lose out on the best thing in my life because I didn't try hard enough to make it work? Guilt, guilt, guilt!

I also feel angry that I had to give up the dogs. If I had had more help with them, we might not have gotten to the point that we had to give them up. I'd like to say it's water under the bridge now, but it's not. It's more like a tsunami bearing down on me, getting ready to crush me. I can't stand that I had to give them up for adoption. I know it is what is best for them. I just wish I could have been what was best for them. But I couldn't do it on my own. I needed help, but I didn't really get any.

So, I'm sad and missing my dogs. Especially Skooter, but Moped too. I miss how soft they feel, how they looked at me with their soulful eyes and how they made me feel important and needed. My dogs mean a lot to me. I know they always will.