Still crying

It's been a while but I just wanted to let you know that I still miss my dogs and my cats, especially Huxley and Blitz. I still cry every once in while because I miss them so much. I know that they have a wonderful life with their new owners up in Woodland Park. Living on five acres has to be the best for them. I'm sure that chasing squirrels is a daily activity for them. I wonder if they've seen any deer or wild turkeys? Hmmm. I sure do miss them.

The new and improved Huxley and Blitz ;)

and the bestest Huxley and Blitz

Holly

This weekend we watched the AKC/Eukanuba Dog Show. You can read an article on the winner, Holly, here. There is also a page on the AKC site about The Pointer. The Pointer is also known as the English Pointer. There are also German Shorthaired Pointer (like we've had) and the German Wirehaired Pointer. I'm doing some research to see if there are any other Pointer breeds.

For anyone looking for a GSP, remember to check the Rocky Mountain GSP Rescue website for dogs available for adoption. If you are looking for a particular breed of dog, search for local rescues that adopt out that breed.

Today I was disheartened thinking about how many puppies and dogs there are in this world. People just don't get that there are too many of them already out there. There should be a fine for people who breed without regard for how many dogs are out there. I think breeders should be limited too. *steps off soapbox*

Regret

I had some second thoughts over the weekend about giving up all the animals. I don't know why I'm more effected on the weekends. I think I miss the distraction of the cats and dogs. I was always paying attention to them and didn't have to think about anything that was going on with me. They kept me busy. And I think it finally sunk in that they are no longer mine. They belong to other people now. They are not my babies any more. I guess I needed to deal with that head on. I'm also trying to deal with my feelings about checking into dogs (even though I don't want one). I know I'm playing with fire. If the right dog comes along, I could be taken in. No need to tempt myself with looking. I have to let it go. I still haven't changed my screen saver. I need to do that. Seeing Skooter and Moped and Minnie and Paulie and Huxley and Blitz is not helping me get over them. It's just making matters worse. This really is a time in my life that I need to focus on me and the things I'm dealing with every day. Like I said, the animals were a great distraction. Now I have all the time that I need to delve into who I want to be and what I want to do. It seems scary but it also feels right.

It's the weekend again and I'm missing my pets. I feel bad that I didn't follow up on the cats. I just don't want to know if they were put to sleep. I pray that they were able to get homes. I still have all of them on my screen saver. I need to change that. I'm glad that I re-homed them all but I miss them nonetheless. I got rid of the box of Meaty Bones that has sat in the cupboard. I need to get all the pet stuff put on craigslist and get it out of the house. I'm definitely procrastinating on doing that.

David was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes this past week so giving up the pets is a good thing. He can't take a chance on getting scratched because of the diabetes and the cellulitis too. It'll probably keep up from getting a pet in the future but that's okay. I'm happy without pets even though I miss the ones I had.

Lynn sent me a beautiful story about an old man and a GSP. It made me tear up. GSP's are the best!

Passion

Last night I went out to the USCS Talent Show. It was awesome! The kids are very talented. Anyway, I realized that I didn't have to rush home to let the dogs out. It kind of made me sad to think that they are no longer my girls. And when I turned the corner into the community I looked over at the back door like I always would do when Huxley and Blitz were here. But it's when I pull into the garage that I have the biggest pang of missing them. I was so used to going into the house and saying hello and having happy pets there to greet me. I even missed the cats last night. Yesterday I kept thinkin that I heard Paulie. Once in a while I would check the living room window where Paulie and Minnie would sit to sun bathe. I haven't called the HS because I don't want to know what happened to them. They may still be there for all I know. David and I are still looking at dogs on craigslist. He finds them and then shares them with me. Some of them have been good looking dogs but I don't want to make any decisions for at least a year on pets. I think by then I'll be settled without them.

Lisa made a great suggestion last night - I should journal all the reasons that it was difficult having the pets so I don't 'forget' and get other pets. There were lots of things that just didn't work for me. Some examples are: always having to get up to let the dogs in and out, not sleeping through the night because Huxley and Blitz are hogging the bed, having to clean up the backyard and the kitty litter box, the carpet getting ruined, cat and dog hair all over everything, David's allergies to the pets, the chance of him getting cellulitis from being scratched and not being able to go away for very long because the dogs needed company. Oh, and lets not forget about the dogs getting into the trash and chewing on things. Again, they weren't bad dogs, they were just bored dogs. And that was our fault. Scooter and Moped were really bored because they were puppies. They need a ton more activity than we were providing for them. Oh well, what's done is done. It really is okay that they are all gone. I'm sad but I'm also glad. I'm not just the doggy door keeper anymore.

I'm still having trouble putting things into my day. I have so much time now that I don't have pets. And freedom. I have lots of freedom. I'm still trying to figure out what I have a passion for besides pets, that is. ;) I'm finding myself a little bit more each day. It's not an easy process. I didn't just go from owning cats and dogs to being, what? Who am I supposed to be now that I'm not the doggy door keeper?

Well, it's almost 7am so I'm going to go back to bed for a while.

Minnie and Paulie are gone

I brought them to the Humane Society on Friday. It's taken me a couple of days to post about it because it bothered me more than I thought it would. I thought it would be hard to get them into the travel kennel but they went in without much difficulty. The ride to the HS seemed very long. It is across town, but it seemed longer because it was such a sad drive. They meowed most of the way. The don't like being in the kennel and they sure don't like being in the car. They settled down when we got to the HS. I was really sad answering all the questions. The lady who checked us in told me that Minnie and Paulie would have a good chance of getting a home because they are fixed and are declawed (fronts only). That gave me some hope. I cried when I left. I had them keep the kennel because I couldn't leave with it empty. It would have been too hard. And it was a long ride home too. But I was able to do what needed to be done. David is allergic to cats and dogs so having them is not a good idea. I miss all of them though. I think about Huxley and Blitz often and I obviously still think about Minnie and Paulie. I keep thinking that I hear them or feel them on my legs. It makes me sad to know that they are not there.

But, on the positive side, all the doors are open in the house. I don't have to shut off all the rooms from the cats. It seems so much brighter in here. And it's definitely more open. I was able to vacuum without dodging all the animals. It was a lot quicker. The carpet still looks like crap but that will change when we can afford the new carpet.

I do feel kind of lonely because David is out golfing with the guys and there aren't any animals to keep me company. There is just so much more time in my day (sometimes that's good, sometimes that's bad) and such freedom in not having pets. I don't feel tied to my chair because the cats are on me or because I have to let the dogs in and out. There's definitely a down side though. The sadness in moments is overwhelming. Thankfully it's only for moments.

I keep picturing Minnie and Paulie in cages. I know they are not capable of hating me, but I guess I'm feeling guilty for having them for so long, almost 8 years, and now giving them up. It was $30 to surrender them. It wasn't an easy decision. I almost turned around and went home a whole bunch of times. But I knew that it would be a positive, albeit sad, event.

I feel like crying right now. It's just the sadness coming over me like a wave. I'm glad it's just a small wave. The sadness with the dogs was at points overwhelming and I felt like I was falling apart. But I just tell myself that the dogs are in a great home and I look at the picture of them playing with the squirrels and I know I've done the right thing.

I still check the Rescue web site. Habit I guess. There was an older pair of GSP's (Mack and Sable) and they were the same colors as Huxley and Blitz. That was hard. But I'm just going to be glad that Kris is doing the job that she is doing and getting these beautiful animals new homes.

Yesterday we went for a ride over to the Garden of the Gods. It was almost 70 degrees out. I couldn't believe how many people I saw with their dogs. I mean, there were just tons of them on the way there, in the park and on the way home. When I see people with their dogs I think about all the effort it takes to have a dog. I also think about missing them being with me.

Anyway, Minnie and Paulie and Huxley and Blitz are gone now. I'm sans pets. First time in over 15 years that David and I haven't had a pet. It was Elvis P. Bunnyboy, our rabbit, that started it all off. Then came Tabby and all the rest of the crew. Now they are all gone or rehomed. I miss them all.

Off and on

We just got back from a drive up to Woodland Park. Ute pass was beautiful today. Interesting thing - everybody seemed to have a dog with them. Okay, not everyone, but next to everyone. It ran through my mind that we could see the girls possibly, just walking in their neighborhood but that's not going to happen. David said he's missing them today too for some reason. I've been fine without them until today. I don't know why I'm thinking about them so much today, but I'm going to allow myself to feel the way I do and just ride it like a wave. It's okay to miss them. I had them for a year and a half. It's no wonder that I miss them. David also said today that he realized that we could have kept Skooter and Moped if he had put the time in with them to train them. I feel the same way. I did put in time training them, but not enough and not consistently.

Oh well. I'm bound to have feelings like this off and on for a while. I'm okay with that.

Still adjusting to them all being gone

Well, today I talked to David about definitely giving up the cats. I couldn't find a no-kill shelter to take them to, so I'll be taking them to the Humane Society. It's the same situation with the cats as with the dogs - I love them but I just don't want to care for them. They continually ruin the carpet by throwing up on it and they get hair everywhere. I know I will miss them and it will be weird to not have any pets, but I think that's the way it needs to be right now.

David is still looking at dogs on craigslist and I'm still checking the GSP site every day. I'm not checking it because I want a dog, I'm checking it because it makes me happy to see that a dog has been adopted. I have thought that if I ever get a dog again (and it won't be soon) it will have to be a GSP. I just love the breed and love the way they look, feel and behave. But I'm not in any position to even be thinking about a dog.

Paulie just kicked Minnie off my legs so he could sit there. Poor Minnie. I'd like to find the time tomorrow to take them to the HS. I need to just get it done.

I'm still missing Huxley and Blitz. When I start missing them I just look at the picture of them treeing the squirrell and I realize that they are where they belong. It's kind of ironic that they are up in Woodland Park where I'd like to live. I can't even imagine how happy they must be with so much land to run on and so many beasties to chase. I'm sure they are so incredibly happy being there and are loved tremendously. They are awesome dogs and deserve the best home. Their new owners said they sleep through the night now. That's probably because they are out all day playing. I do miss napping with them. And I still can't have a bowl of Cheerios without thinking about sharing with Huxley. Pretty much anything I eat I used to share with them. I think it will take time to get past that.

I don't miss Skooter and Moped like I used to miss them. I still think of them a lot but they are so far out of my daily life that I'm not sad about them. I do wonder what it would be like to still own Skooter. He is such a good dog. Moped was just too crazy. I'd have to really learn how to raise a calm dog before I could even think about owning one again. They didn't have a great life here though. They were either crated or tied up (because they were so out of control) and that wasn't any fun for them.

Anyway, I'll always get sucked in by GSP puppies and dogs. I just can't resist the face. But I can resist owning one.

I checked the GSP site and more dogs have been adopted. There's always more coming in though. I wish people would spay and neuter their dogs so the population would decrease. There are so many 'homeless' GSP's that Kris has to take in. It's sad. I've continued our donation to the Rescue because I really believe in the work that Kris is doing. I wish it could be more. One day I'm hoping it will be more.

Just missing my boys and girls today. I do okay most of the time but once in a while, the feeling just hits me and I miss them. I hope that we get updates on them in the future (but I won't expect that to happen). I was looking at pictures of Skooter when he visited his mom, Harvest and his sister from another litter. They are/were such beautiful, even tempered dogs. And I was looking at the 'family photos' that Kathy put together on Moped. There's a picture of the first time David held him when he was just weeks old. Ah, the good old days when we were too dense to know that dogs just didn't fit into our lives. lol

I feel better now that I've been able to think about them. Back to the real world again.