They loves them some bunnies

The girls aren't up on the GSP website yet. I sent Kris an email asking if we can help in locating and owner or foster care. Things are getting more stressful for me personally (totally unrelated to the dogs) and I'm wanting to find the girls a home. I need to take care of me right now and that means no pets. I'm not even sure I could explain why that is, but it just is. Knowing that the girls will be leaving, I'm becoming a bit detached from them. I still love them and give the attention and care for them but I'm not 100% vested in them right now. I was thinking that it will be difficult to get them homes since they can't walk on a leash without pulling. I guess I need to work on that further. They get so excited when they get to go for a walk that all they do is pull. If they see a bunny it's even worse. lol They loves them some bunnies.

I haven't done a very good job with the girls. I should have spent much more time training them instead of letting them run the house. It's the same thing I did with Skooter and Moped. I'm just not the type of person who should have a dog and especially not TWO dogs!

I guess I could start later this morning and take them out one at a time and work on leash training them. They really need to learn to walk on a leash. And there are some other things I need to work on with them too. I guess using treats on the walk would help. I need to get some smaller treats though. Maybe I'll get something at the pet store. I know what I want I just can't think of what they are called at the moment. It's on the tip of my tongue.

I really need to work on Blitzie whining for what she needs. The whining has to be ignored completely. David has a hard time doing that though. He has trouble being patient and waiting for a break in the whining to give her what she wants. That's my fault too. I didn't take the time to discipline them and now I'm paying for it.

They both are doing great at sit and lie down (go to bed, too). They perform well for treats so I need to use those more in training. Just walking them around the cul de sac at first would be enough (for them and for me lol). I'd love to be able to take them on my walks but I like my shoulder in it's socket, if you know what I mean. *grin*

Well, it's almost 3:30am so I need to go back to bed. We are having lunch (a double date) with Mike and Lisa at 2pm today at Chili's. I'm really looking forward to that.

The wait...

I checked the GSP website and there are over 30 dogs (including 12 puppies!) listed for adoption. There are 4 seniors alone. It won't be easy to find a home for Huxley and Blitz (especially not together). Knowing that I might have them for 2 more months is difficult. Not because I don't love them, but because I do. It'll be hard every day not knowing when they will get adopted. I feel sad. I'm also worried about them scratching David. They jump on him and scratch him all the time and it could have caused the cellulitis he has in his leg. It's cost us over $100 already for the care for the celluliis. I mean, it's not the dogs fault. They just may have scratched him and some bacteria got in the scratch. But he may be more prone to getting cellulitis now. I wish I could keep the dogs but there are lots of personal reasons why I can't. I will miss them terribly when they get adopted. It would be weird if one gets adopted and not the other. They've been together all their lives. I know that they can adjust but I'm not sure how they will do without each other. That causes me some worry.

Huxley is nesting in the blankets on the floor (laundry) and Blitzie is nesting on the bed. The sheets and covers are all messed up. LOL I have to make the bed every night before we can go to bed. David slept in the other room last night because the girls were taking up all the room on his side of the bed and he couldn't move them. I don't want him to have to sleep in the other room.

I never thought to ask Kris about Skooter and Moped. I'm sure they are doing great. I still miss them. I guess it will be that way with Huxley and Blitz too.

Kris called me last night. She will post the dogs on the GSP site but can't take them into the Rescue because she has brand new puppies and is not accepting new dogs. She also has a litter due in about 3 weeks, so she won't be taking in new dogs for about 2 months. So, we'll have to keep Huxley and Blitz until someone adopts them. And they will probably be split up. That's sad but there's nothing I can do about it except pray that someone will take both of them. I don't mind that they are not going down to the Rescue but I wasn't intending on keeping them for months. Oh well, at least the ball is rolling. It's really difficult for me to give them up because it really has nothing to do with the dogs. It's for personal reasons. I still love them and care about them. I just can't keep them any longer.

Kris was appreciative of us sending money to the Rescue every month. I am glad that we can help. Kris has been a great help to us and has worked with us every step of the way. That is much appreciated.

I know I will be sad to see the dogs go and there will be many tears.

Nap over for me

I woke up from my nap. David and the girls are still in there though. They look so sweet. I will miss napping with them. Nothing from Kris yet.

We're back to the beginning again. I sent an email to Kris telling her that we want to give up Huxley and Blitz. I've been thinking about it for at least a month month and really since the day we got them. When Kris asked us to do foster care, I was fine with keeping them until they could get forever homes. Then I let myself believe that we could keep them permanently. I've never been comfortable with that decision. If, when I talked to Kris about sending them to the Rescue over a year ago, she had agreed to take them, we would have brought them to the Rescue. But I've realized that as much as I love them, and boy do I love them, I'm not a GSP Rescue. They are special dogs and need special owners. Even at 8 years old they still have a lot of playfulness in them. And as lazy as these two girls are, they still have more energy than I can deal with.

With everything that is going on in my life, including going back to work, it's difficult to find the time that they need. I don't exercise them as much as I should and it shows because Huxley had gained quite a bit of weight. Blitz is still pretty slim and trim. Huxley eats first and eats a lot. It's hard to keep her out of the food so Blitz can eat. We rarely take them on drives anymore. They did enjoy going to day care, but I really can't afford that every week. They deserve better then the sedentary life we are giving them. They are athletic dogs and need a higher energy owner.

I keep looking at them, Huxley especially, and think that they look like they know. But I know that they don't. I'm just transferring my feelings onto them.

I feel like I have failed them. I would have liked for them to be our forever dogs. But a dog, particularly a GSP, is just not in our future. I feel like an idiot because we've tried with four GSP's and it didn't work long term with any of them. I believe I have learned my lesson and will never get another dog. I'm even considering finding homes for Minnie and Paulie because I just don't want the responsibility of a pet. I know it's selfish, but I want my time to be my time and with four pets, it just never happens. I'm always tending to the dogs when they are in the house. When the dogs go out, then the cats come to sit in my lap. I love them too, but I just want my lap to myself some days. And I miss sleeping with David. The girls are always in between us and taking up the most of the bed. We've tried to get them to sleep on he floor, but they get on the bed when I am at work and they think the bed is theirs.

So, I'm back where I started - feeling sad and fearful because I have to give up my two dogs. It's a horrible place to be. I know I will cry for weeks and I will miss them terribly but that does not outweigh the issues I am having. And it's not because of the dogs. They are awesome. Blitzie is a bit of a whiner when she wants something but as soon as she gets it (water, to go out) she's just fine. They are both sleeping right now, Huxley on the blanket on the floor in the living room and Blitzie in our bed. She knows it's nap time. LOL

So, I'm waiting to hear from Kris. I asked if we could bring them down to the Rescue this weekend or next. If she's not able to take them in, I don't know what I will do. I guess I would have to start looking for homes for them myself. But I just don't want to do that. I know they will be happy at the Rescue with all the other dogs. Huxley and Blitz are very social. And their next owners will be better suited to take care of them.

I'm feeling sleepy, so I think I will go nap with Blitz. And I'm sure that Huxley will join us too. David might even be able to fit too! LOL

I am heartbroken once again. I won't do this to myself or to the dogs again. I promise.