Dogs everywhere

It seems that now that I don't have the dogs anymore, I see dogs everywhere. I see them on the streets, in tv commercials and shows, in cars and in movies. It's like everyone has a dog but me. :-( I'm just always going to miss them and will feel bad if I ever get another dog. If I can't have them, I shouldn't have a dog at all. I think about how some day we might be able to get a house with a much bigger yard out east maybe. And I think about having GSP's. But I want MY GSP's back. I don't want other GSP's. I'm crying right now and I don't really even know why. I guess I just miss them. When I came home today from being out, I wanted them to be here. I know they aren't here, but I needed them to be here for me. Coming in that door and not having them here to be thrilled that I'm home, is very difficult. I don't know why I'm so upset right now. Maybe the reality of Skooter going to another family is setting in. I don't own him anymore, that family has already adopted him. I ache for him. It hurts that he's not here. David says that we can go and get Moped if I want, but it's Skooter that I'm missing. I couldn't get one and not the other anyway. And I don't think that Kris would let us have him back. We're not an appropriate family for them. I really miss having my dogs. :-(

I feel like I resent the cats because they are so happy and content without the dogs. I love my cats and they bring me great joy and they are getting me through this difficult time, but I also resent them. Having cats is okay but it's nothing like having a dog. They just don't need as much as a dog does. They are more independent and don't need me as much as Skooter and Moped did.

I've lost so much over the last year and a half and to have the loss continue with the adoption of the dogs is almost too much to bear. Losing them is the worst loss of all.