Angry at the world

In my previous entry I was not referring to anyone specifically. I am angry at the world for not making this right. I feel like somebody should have been able to help me to figure out what to do so I could keep my dogs and not have them act like wild animals in the house. Maybe I was told and maybe I just couldn't do it. I know I was told to be patient, that it might take six months to a year or more for them to change. With the stress level I was feeling I didn't have that long. I needed a quick fix and there wasn't one. Except to put them up for adoption.

I want them back. Today I really want them back. But I know that nothing has changed in my lifestyle that would make things any better with them now than is was before. I know that. What has changed with them is that they are in a higher activity, higher energy level environment now. An environment that I cannot provide. They are getting to do the things that they need to do: being out of thier kennels all day, getting to run around, getting to play with other dogs, learning how to behave in the house and being loved for who they are right now. I couldn't love them for what they are right now - it was too much for me.

Again, I'm not blaming anyone specifically for not helping out. I'm just angry at the world. Somebody else needs to be to blame because it can't be me. It can't be that I wasn't patient enough, that I didn't try hard enough, that I didn't invest enough time, effort, and money into them. No, it couldn't possibly be me so it's got to be someone/everyone else.

I know this is just part of the grieving process that I have to go through. I feel like I will grieve forever. :-(