Rainy days

I think it has been easier for me because I can picture the place where Skooter is. I've been there. I don't have to imagine it. But now I have to imagine where Moped is and soon I will have to do the same with Skooter. There is something about knowing where they are that is comforting.

I am feeling less connected to them. I don't cry immediately when I look at their pictures. I just feel a sadness, an emptiness that I can't quite describe. I do not feel the devastation that I felt just days ago. Maybe it's where I am in the grief process. Maybe it is just that I am on overload and I'm compensating somehow. I don't know.

I received another PM from Julia. I'll post it later today. I so enjoy hearing the stories about her dogs. It brings a smile to my face. That's what I will miss most about not having the dogs - people sharing their dog stories with me. So I am grateful for Julia.

I'm still waking up at 2 - 3 am. I wish I could sleep through the night, but it is such an ingrained habit to get up for them. I do miss my middle of the night time with Skooter and Moped. It was a special time. It felt good to get up and let them out of their kennels for a bit. I wonder if they are sleeping through the night okay without each other.

I still worry about them when it rains. I don't want them to be stuck outside in the rain. I want them to be safe and warm, always.

I wonder how Moped is doing in his new home. Is he adjusting okay to being the only dog? He's so social and I worry that he'll have a rough time being without other dogs. I just can't picture him being settled down yet. Maybe he is better than he was with me. He is a month older now. That can make a huge difference in behavior. I just don't want the new family to regret picking him.

I hope I'm making sense here in the middle of the night. I didn't have to be all there for the dogs. They just loved me being there at all. Unconditional love. What a wonderful feeling. It's a feeling you can only get from your dog.

I'm going to try to go back to bed, just like I would if the dogs were here. I'll try to find some comfort in knowing that they are both spoken for. I think when Skooter 'goes home' this weekend, I will have a difficult time. He is my boy and I will miss him most of all. Mister Wiggles. My Skooty Skoot. Yes, it will be hard to let him go for good. I guess I will always wonder about them. Especially on rainy days.