I will be happy for me

The reason that this is all so difficult for me is that the dogs were my life. Everything I did revolved around the dogs and their potty break/get out of the kennel schedule. From the minute that I woke up they needed me. 'Please let me out of my kennel, I have to go to the bathroom. And I'm excited to see you too after not seeing you all night.' Then there was the training: sitting before they could come out of their kennels, sitting before they could go out the sliding door and sitting when they came back in the door. There were the times I had to wait on Skooter to come back because he had jumped the fence and was off somewhere in the neighborhood chasing rabbits. So to fix that I had to go out on the deck every time I let Skooter out to clip him to the tie out. I really didn't want to have to go outside in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning, but I had to so Skooter could go out. Then there was letting them in and letting them run around in the house to get some energy out. I had to watch them every second. Most of the time Moped was stealing something and running around with it in his mouth. I couldn't just sit and relax, I had to be eyeing them intently. Next came breakfast: kibble was fairly easy, but when I changed to the raw meat diet it got a bit more compllicated and time consuming. I fed them in their kennels but still had to keep an eye on them to make sure no one choked on his food. Then there was another trip outside and all the sitting that was involved in going out and coming in. Then it was back in the house for a romp. I couldn't just go take a shower or eat breakfast without putting them in their kennels. I felt bad about putting them in their kennels so much so I would put off what I had to do for me in order to let them stay out. Eventually though, they would get too rowdy and I had to put them back in their kennels. Then there was some me time. But not much. I still felt guilty about them being in their kennels, so I let them out of their kennels again. That meant focusing totally on them to the exclusion of myself. No TV, no reading, no bible study, nothing, just watching them. By this time it was time for the created nap time. They didn't want to nap, but I needed them to nap. I needed a break from having to watch them so closely. It would get to a point of being mind numbing. So on to the nap it was. They usually didn't last too long before someone was whining and/or scratching at their kennel to get out. They'd get to romp around the house for a bit then I had to let them out and then back in again remembering to have them sit when entering and exiting.

This was the morning routine, which was the afternoon routine and then the evening routine. I did this all day long with the dogs. And I threw in some training in my spare time. My whole day revolved around my dogs and their care. Their exercise was running around in the back yard and romping around the house. I couldn't take them for walks because they pulled too much on the leash, so it wasn't a walk, it was a drag. And their was absolutely no way to take both dogs out at the same time. They would have just pulled me over. I would have enjoyed taking them on errands with me but Moped wasn't very good in the car. He was always trying to drive! Skooter on the other hand did great in the car, just sitting there like a good boy, enjoying the ride. But I didn't want to just bring Skooter with me and leave him in the car alone. It would be like being in his kennel. So I didn't get them out very much. That is until we started training and Doggy Day Care. Then they were out a whole lot more than they had been previously. But training took up a lot of time too. Our whole Saturday was spent on taking the dogs to and from training and Doggy Day Care. On other days it was the same schedule: let them out of their kennels for as long as I could tolerate focusing on them to the exclusion of myself.

Day after day, week after week, I kept up this hectic pace. I would have done almost anything to keep my dogs. But it wasn't about just keeping them. It was about their quality of life. And their quality of life sucked. They needed to be outdoors all day and playing all day and running around all day to get out their puppy energy and their championship blood line bird dog energy. They needed to go for walks. They needed to go to the dog park and just run around for hours. They needed to keep going all day and wear themselves out so going in their kennel at night would be a blessing, so they could really rest. They needed to play games and practice obedience. They needed so much more than I was physically or metally capable of giving them. I always felt like I was letting them down and I was always stressed out.

This was no way for any of us to live. So after having Skooter for 15 months and having Moped for seven months, I started considerering what would be best for them. We were in the middle of obedience training, the door program and Doggy Day Care. But I decided not to prolong the inevitable: they were going to have to go to a more appropriate home. I wasn't going to make them wait until training was over. Why have them be bored and me stressed for another day. So I made the difficult decision to give them up for adoption.

I find solace in the fact that they are doing great down at the Rescue in Penrose. It is a more appropriate home for them. They get to be outside all day and don't have to be watched every minute. Skooter can't jump over the fence and probably doesn't want to because he's got so much going on in the yard now. He gets to play with other dogs, be out all day and lay in the sun. They get to go for car rides, they get to be demo dogs at the PetCo obedience class. They get to run down at the Reservoir. They are getting to be dogs instead of inmates. Their sweetness is now matched by the lifestyle they have. There is so much more freedom for them.

And one day soon a more appropriate forever home will be found for them. A home where they can be dogs! I look forward to them having a great life. It is not easy to give them up, but it is right to give them up. I will always remember their sweetness and how they made me smile and laugh. I will remember the good times I was blessed to have with them. And I will be happy for them enjoying their new found life. A more appropriate life. I will be happy for them. And I will be happy for me.