Letting go

I feel that a part of me has let go of the dogs today. I'm not sure why I feel this way. I just do. I feel calmer about them. I think spending so much of my day yesterday on 'waiting' showed me that I need to let go. I'm not doing anybody any good by hanging on to dogs that I don't even own anymore. And that's the truth that I need to latch onto: I DO NOT own Skooter and Moped anymore. I surrendered them to the Rescue. I still love them and miss them, but they are no longer my dogs. They belong to Kris right now. And then one day the will have new owners. They will move on with their lives. And I should do the same. I'm not saying that I'm never going to cry about them again. I'm sure I will. But I need to stop hanging on. I will continue the Dog Blog because there is still a lot to say about them. But I need to stop checking out the GSP site so many times every day. I really need to let go, for my sanity. Whatever happens now will happen without me interfering. I'm not going to email Kris. I'm not going to hope that the new owners will contact me. I am going to let them go. It is a decision that I have made. My mind is ready to let go of them. My heart is still hanging on. The loss is fresh, so I can't expect to just forget all about them already. I need to give myself as much time as I need to grieve over the loss. And no matter what anyone says, this is a huge loss. My day to day life with them has ended. I feel empty knowing that. There is a void in me that nothing else will ever fill. They cannot be replaced.

I look at other dogs and think of how great it would be to have another dog, but I'm afraid to think of getting another dog. Will I be able to hold on to it? Will I have to give it up because I've made another bad choice? These are things I need to think about. Getting another dog is no easy decision.

I hope Skooter and Moped are enjoying the day today. It's seventy degrees out. They must be loving this weather. I want the best for them, I really do.