Harley went for his first ride to Garden of the Gods tonight. He did well. He whined for about 5 seconds total the whole ride there and back. We had the tie down on him (which is HUGE for him lol) and he didn't seem to mind it too much. I brought his chew toys but he had no interest in them. We did the big loop around the Garden because he was doing so well. On the way home, just past Garden of the Gods and Nevada, I realized that Harley had to go to the bathroom. So we stopped at the parking lot of Pulpit Rock Church and I took him out on the leash. He went pee as soon as I told him to do his business. He's such a good boy. When we got home I took him for a short walk and then took him in to feed him (I was late feeding him today). He's in his kennel now sleeping. He looks like he's very tired from his adventure.
Bayou

Catahoula Leopard Dog
Moped and Skooter

Huxley and Blitz

hiking the Garden of the Gods
A Tribute To Tabby (7/93 - 4/08)
Sunday, August 16, 2009
First ride to Garden of the Gods
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Samantha
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7:07 PM
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Getting into a schedule
We're keeping Harley under a tighter watch today. He napped in his kennel while I napped in bed. When we got up I made him wait until I was ready to let him out of his kennel. We went outside and he peed and pooped. Then I took Harley for a walk. He got to meet the Deno's. He was pretty good. I think he peed when he got excited so I'm going to have to watch that. He jumped up on Mrs. Deno though. He wasn't obnoxious about it though but I made him sit. Then we finished our walk. He does pretty good on the first 3/4 of the walk but near the end he starts biting his leash. I tell him to drop it and get it out of his mouth and then we continue our walk. I don't want to walk him too much since he's growing so much but I want him to use up his energy walking.
When we came in David played retrieve with him. He chased his Kong ball, picked it up, brought it back and dropped it so David could roll it again. He would make Harley sit before he would roll the ball. He's doing really well with sitting at the door and for his food. He doesn't even have to be told to sit now, he just does it once he figures out that it's time to go in or it's time for food. He's in his kennel taking a nap right now. He's tuckered out from walking and playing. This is the kind of schedule I need to keep him on (walk, eat, play, nap). And after talking to David about it I think he needs to spend more time contained in his kennel instead of having the run of the house. I think that's what's giving him his overconfidence.
David and I talked about training and what we should do. I think, after talking to him, that I should just do the training here at home and not pay for someone to tell me what I already know. The only thing Harley would miss out on is the socialization but that will come once he has all his shots and I get to take him walking with me. I want him to meet Woody and Sammy too, if it's possible. I want him to have friends that he's not dominating. But I'll probably wait until he's not quite so nippy. That could be just what he needs though is another dog to put him in his place.
I've moved his kennel into the dining room. That way I can get him in there without much fuss during the day. He'll begin to sleep out here tonight. I'm sure he'll whine a bit but that's okay. I don't want him to think that he always has to be near me. I don't want to create separation anxiety in him. I see Marianne tomorrow so he'll be alone for a couple of hours. Then on Tuesday I have a dentist appointment so he'll be alone again. I really need to get back to my walking tomorrow. I need to keep my schedule as much as possible. I want to go up to Palmer Park instead of walking around the neighborhood. I don't enjoy the walk around the neighborhood. I do enjoy the walk up on the Mesa Trail.
I'm going to watch some videos on training to get an idea of what I need to do as far as behaviors (sit, down, stay, etc.). I know it's just going to take time and I have to be willing to put the time in with Harley. I was willing to put the time in with Skooter and Moped and they learned. They were out of control temperament wise but they knew their behaviors. Harley is NOT going to get out of control. I won't let it happen again with a dog of mine.
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Samantha
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1:02 PM
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Training
I talked to David and asked him what I might be doing that is giving Harley the impression that all of a sudden he is in charge. David thinks it's because I've been letting him stay out of his kennel all day instead of containing him for a portion of the day. I think he needs to work to come out of his kennel instead of just being allowed out all day without working for it. I need to walk him every day, a few times a day. His next walk will be before lunch. I think I'll take him around the cul de sac twice so he gets more exercise. I'd walk him in the neighborhood but I don't want to run into any other dogs since he's only had his first shots.
I sent an email to ABRT asking about puppy training. They said that Harley could start training now with the shots that he has received. I just don't know if I want to pay for training again. I'm not sure that I couldn't just do the training myself. I could check out videos on youtube and kind of use that as the basis of my training. He's smart so I know he'll be able to learn whatever I want to teach him. It's his wanting to run the show that is the issue. He just wants to be pack leader although he would be better off being a follower. I need to let him know that he has to do what I want him to do and I'm not going to accept anything less than that.
The situation with Harley is making me think a lot about Moped. He is a smart dog too but was able to get one over on me and run the show. It's the same issues with chewing, biting and not listening to direction that I'm having with Harley. I want to be the pack leader from this moment forward. I can't let Harley tell me what to do. I need to get him on a routine that I schedule. I need to day when things will happen. I also need to spend more time with him doing obedience and behaviors training (sit, down, stay, etc.).
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9:00 AM
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Ch-ch-ch-changes
Things are changing with Harley. He's awake more of the day and has more energy. Yesterday was a long day. Not because he was doing anything it just literally was a long day. We got up at 5:30am and we're up most of the day until 10pm. We went for 3 walks yesterday. He did fairly well on all of them. We also practiced making him sit while out on the walk. He did well with that too. He's sitting to go out the door and to come in the door as well. I'm realizing that he's trying to train us and is trying to outsmart us. I'm going to have to be very careful with him.
I spent most of the day yesterday looking up training techniques online. I overwhelmed myself looking at all that stuff. There are just too many different ideas on training. I'd love to do Cesar Millan's approach, being the pack leader, but I just don't understand how to project that with Harely. I know it's me not Harely. He thinks the whole house is his territory and I need to change that. I saw how Cesar did it on one of the videos so I'm going to do that today with Harley.
I think that David and I are getting a little frustrated because we don't completely understand Cesar's methods. I feel like it shouldn't be this difficult for us to understand Harley and become his pack leaders. There must be something that we are not getting from the DVD's. Cesar doesn't use very many words. He uses actions and sounds to direct the dog. I know it's Cesar's frame of mind and how he carries himself that make the difference. How do I aquire that skill?
He's being rowdy so I need to go.
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Samantha
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7:15 AM
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Saturday, August 15, 2009
Confusion
We watched the last two DVD's in the Leadership Series from Cesar Millan. I honestly don't really get what he does to make the dog behave. I understand the concept but I just don't get how to implement it with Harley. He's only ten weeks old and I'm not sure what's okay for him to do (or normal puppy behavior) and what's not. I've tried doing the mother dog bite thing but Harely doesn't seem to respond to it. He's not doing a lot of bad behaviors or anything but I just don't want him jumping on me or biting me (which he does at least twice during the day when he gets some energy built up). He's been walked 3 times today. He's sleeping right now (which he does most of the day) but when he gets those bursts of energy he can get kind of hyper. Thankfully it doesn't last right now but I'm afraid it will once he gets older.
I don't know how much to discipline him either. What's appropriate for a 10 week old puppy? I don't think I've ever seen a Dog Whisperer episode where Cesar was working with a puppy (I'm sure there is one, I just haven't seen it). He has online sessions but I don't know that they would provide much more information than the three DVD's have provided. I guess I'm more comfortable with typical dog obedience training than I am with dog psychology. I really want Harley to be well behaved when he gets older. He's going to be a big dog and I don't want him to be unruly or hard to control. Maybe I'm just thinking too much about it. I had such different experiences with the GSP's. I don't want to end up like that again.
I've been checking information online and EVERYONE has their opinion on how to train a puppy. There's not tons of agreement on what to do and how to do it. I know that consistency and persistence is required and I'm willing to do that once I know what to do. I'm going to continue my research to see if I can find some consensus on training a puppy. I want to give Harley the best start that I can.
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4:03 PM
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Day # 7 with Harley
It's not even 6:30am yet and it's already been an action packed morning. I got up at 5:30am (David was leaving for work) and went to the bathroom. While I was in there Harley alerted me to the fact that he needed to go out NOW! He was next on the list but I guess he didn't want to wait. I took him outside and he did his business. When he came in I decided that we should go for a walk so he could earn his food and water today. So I used the leash we got from the vet's Puppy Pack and I took him out for a walk around the cul de sac. He did well on the leash. He stopped some and tried to get in front of me but I think I was able to keep him under control most of the walk. When we came back in I gave him his breakfast. He was very good about eating. He has a good appetite. After eating I let him play with his chew toys. Now he's settling in for a nap.
I would like to get him into a Puppy Kindergarten class as soon as I can. I know h'ell probably have to get more shots before that can happen. I'll check into that later. I think he would definitely benefit from socializing with other dogs and other people. I really liked the training at ABRT. I think I'd like to take him there. They use positive reinforcement (treats and praise) to motivate the dogs. I think Well, it's time for Harley to go into his kennel for a nap so I can go back to bed for a couple of hours.
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6:21 AM
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Friday, August 14, 2009
It might just be a puppy thing
There's some good info on tail chasing here. He doesn't do it all the time but I want to keep an eye on it even though he is a puppy. I can see that I need to get him out there walking starting tomorrow morning. I read an interesting thing about puppies chasing their tails because of the separation from their littermates. That could be what's got Harley chasing his tail. I'm just going watch this closely and see where it goes once I start walking him.
He also had a HUGE burst of energy and ran back and forth in the house toting chew toys around with him. He started biting me when I got near him. He seemed like he was in a frenzy. I don't want that kind of behavior in a dog either. I need to just chill out and not get stressed about this because he'll feel that and he will become unbalanced.
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10:10 PM
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First DVD down
Well, we watched the first DVD and I have to be honest and say that I'm not sure I understand what to do with Harley to be successful. I get that he needs exercise (the walk), discipline and then affection but I'm not sure about how to discipline him. I don't want to do this wrong and end up with an unbalanced dog. I also understand that I need to treat Harley as an animal, a dog not a human. I will do him no good treating him as a little kid. He's a dog and needs to be treated as such. I'm hoping that as we watch the next two DVD's it will become more clear what I need to do. I guess I'll start by walking him before he eats so he's working for his food and is calm and submissive before he gets to eat and drink.
One behavior he has that worries me is that he chases and bites his own tail. I saw an episode of The Dog Whisperer where a dog did that obsessively. It wasn't pretty. Harley's chasing his tail right now. I know it's probably just him being a puppy and playing but I don't want things getting by me like they did with the GSP's. I allowed them to become unbalanced dogs. I didn't exercise them at all and I sure didn't discipline them. I'll have to do some research on this tail chasing thing and see what I can find on it.
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9:46 PM
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New toys are a hit!
Woohoo! The Cesar Millan DVD's came today! I am so excited! I can't wait to watch them. I asked David to watch them with me and he said he would. I also got Harley a bigger bed for his new kennel, a Kong Ball and some teething keys. I know that the more he chews on that stuff the less he'll chew on people stuff. All together it's a dog gone good day (yeah, lame, I know lol). Harley did great while we were out. He went right outside when we got home and did his business. I just love having him. I know every day isn't going to be as good as all these last six days have been but I'm just so relaxed and calm with him. I don't know that I ever felt like this with the GSP's. Ever. It's not there fault though. We just chose the wrong dogs/breed for us. He loves his new toys. He hasn't seen the new kennel layout yet but the bed is just like his old one, just bigger, so he shouldn't have any trouble adjusting to it. Gosh he really loves the teething keys. He just played with his ball again too. I love that he understands what his toys are.
The DVD's I got are the Mastering Leadership Series. The first DVD is "People Training for Dogs". The second one is "Becoming a Pack Leader". The third one is "Your New Dog: First Day and Beyond". From watching the Dog Whisperer show today I've already realized that I definitely need to get him out in the neighborhood and start walking him. That's more important than anything else. I think I may try to walk him three times a day (after he eats and poops). I'll take him out for his first walk tonight after his dinner. Of course, maybe I should watch the DVD's first so I'll know how to walk him (duh!). Cesar has a particular style he uses for walking dogs and I want to follow his suggestions. Man, he really loves those teething keys. I'm so glad.
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Samantha
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4:30 PM
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Day #6 with Harley
Yesterday got away from me and I didn't think to write in the blog until I was in bed last night. So here's a recap of yesterday.
Harely and I got up early and he went out to go to the bathroom. We came back in and he went back in his kennel so I could get a little bit more sleep. David and Gabe were up early to go golfing. Harley and I spent the morning together. He played. He peed outside. He pooped outside. He laid down at my feet and slept. Later in the morning I got tired and I took a nap in my chair while he was napping on the floor. He never went anywhere, just stayed on the floor and we both napped.
David and Gabe got home sometime in the early afternoon. Harley wasn't all that excited to see them which I thought was kind of interesting since he gets really exicited to see me when I get home. I guess he really is getting attached to me. And that's exactly what I had planned. David watched him for a little bit while I took a shower but put him in his kennel when he got to be too much for David. It felt good to take a shower and relax completely for the time it took to take a shower. Then I left around 2pm for my appointment with Marianne. I left early so I could stop and drop off a movie ("Taken", excellent flick) and go to the store to get some paper towels (Harley's accident clean up). Then I went to my appointment with Marianne.
I spent the whole time there talking about Harely and what a difference he is making in my life. I brought the picture of him sitting on the porch step so Marianne could see what a handsome boy he is. She thinks he is adorable. It is amazing how he has changed things for me. I feel like I have a reason to get up every morning now and a reason to stay awake all day instead of spending the day in bed. Harley gives me something to do ALL DAY LONG!! lol Although I have to admit that at this point mostly what I'm doing is watching him sleep. That's not too taxing, just makes me jealous. lol I feel like I am very attached to him already. When I'm away from him I wonder about him and hope that he is okay. I wouldn't wnt anything to happen to him.
Marianne and I talked about how the training was going with Harley. I told her that David really wants to pick him up (to hold him in his chair, to put him on our bed, etc.) and I'm against doing that so it's been an interesting dynamic with me telling David what to do and not do with Harley. But he is my dog and I want him to be trained well. He's sitting whenever he comes in the back door, when he gets his water and food and most times on command. He's so smart that most times I don't have to ask him to sit at the back door. He just plops his butt down and does it.
I talked to Marianne about how I trust Harley, how it makes me feel so good that he's happy to see me come home (he doesn't care where I've been or if I'm late. He is just glad to see me. That's a really nice feeling. I feel like we both know what it is we want and we're working together as a team to make it happen. He had brought a lot of joy to my life. I can count on Harley and he can count on me.
While I was at Marianne's David had Harley out in the house, the yard and in his kennel when he was too much for him. Gabe paid a lot of attention to Harley and he really seemed to enjoy the attention. When I got home Harley was so happy to see me. What a good feeling that is. What wasn't good was my fear, while I was out, of something happening to Harley. I need to work on letting that go and knowing that God has a plan for me and Harley. I'm discovering a lot of things about myself from having Harley. For instance, I am capable of loving and being loved. I can be a good dog owner (with the right breed). I can trust "someone" else. For the most part Harley is predictable and I like that.
Harley hasn't been chewing on things too much. His favorite things are my flip flops, my sneakers and the wood on the furniture. I can usually get him to stop within seconds just by tellin him 'no' and redirecting him to his toy. He loves, loves, loves his toy. I'll definitely have to replace it when it's too chewed up. He's getting better about not biting and not jumping up on me. I don't want a dog that does that. I want a well behaved dog and Harley will be that dog.
David seems to be offended that Harley isn't as attached to him as he is to me. He makes comments about how Harley is my dog, that Harley doesn't care about him. I'm going to have to deal with this attitude. David just needs to understand his relationship with Harley. David will definitely be someone in the background for the most part in Harley's life. He's not spending as much time with Harley as I am. Like it or not, Harely is my dog.
I like that Harley is so comfortable with me and loves to sleep on the floor near me, during the day and during the night. He is so much easier to take care of than the GSP's. He's such a laid back dog. He's perfect for me. I know that things will change as he gets older and rowdier but I know that I'll figure out how to deal with him at each different stage of his developement. It won't always be easy but it will be an adventure.
David, Gabe and I went out to dinner at Estela's. I was a bit nervous leaving Harely for 2+ hours especially since he had just had dinner and I couldn't get him to poop outside. So he was on my mind a lot while we were out. We took time to go through Garden of the Gods after dinner. I thought for sure that Harley would have an accident but he didn't. He was anxious to get out when we got home but he had no accidents in his cage. Man, I was proud of him for not having an accident for that long. He played around for quite a while with his toy and I took him out a few times. I have a hard time seeing him at night because he's so black. But I'm not too worried about him bolting away. He seems to want to stay close to me especially when the dogs are out next door.
Harley went to bed with no problems last night. He's not thrilled about going into his kennel but he doesn't put up a fuss at all. He slept through the night too. I had to get up to go to the bathroom around 2:30am and I just left him in his kennel. He didn't make any noise. I got up again at 4:30am when Gabe was going to be getting up to leave. I took Harley outside and he did his business. He's so smart. After Gabe left I put Harley back in his kennel and I went back to bed until 7:30am. Then we got up. He went out again and did his business. We've been up for about an hour and a half. He's been playing and of course sleeping. He's playing right now with his favorite toy, the Kong with tails. He loves that thing. I'm glad that I changed my mind and got it for him.
He's doing well with his eating. I'm trying to wean him off of the Beneful and onto the Show Coat Puppy food from Furry Friends, Inc. (www.furryfriendsinc.com). His coat isn't quite as shiny as I would like it to be so hopefully the Show Coat will do that. I'm going to check with the vet to make sure that it's an okay food for him. He's not going to the bathroom right after he eats now. He's waiting a couple of hours. I think that means he's growing up. He is 10 weeks old today - two and a half months old.
I'm hoping my Cesar Millan DVD's will get here today. His "Dog Whisperer" show is on tonight and I'm going to try to watch them to see if I can pick up any hints or tips. Harley just went out and is back in again. He's being playful so I'm going to tend to him.
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7:53 AM
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Thursday, August 13, 2009
Day #5 with Harley
Harley didn't whine at all when he went into his kennel for bedtime. He seems to be getting the routine down. Right now he's playing with his Kong Tails toy. He loves that thing. The tails are reinforced but he's already biting through one of them. Hopefully it will last a while longer. It's just Harley and I this morning. David and Gabe went to play golf. I'm going to try to get a few things done around here before I have to take a shower and leave for my appointment with Marianne. I need to get another dog food container to put Harley's dog food in to avoid spills. I'll have to look online on craigslist for the container.
I didn't sleep good at all last night. It wasn't Harley's fault. He was a peach. I just couldn't get to sleep. So I'm a super yawny butt this morning. Mostly I'd just like to go back to bed but I don't want Harley spending that much time in his kennel. He does really well while he's out of the kennel. Like right now, he just finished playing with his Kong toy and he's come over to lay down near me. He isn't at that stage yet where he feels like he has to go off and terrorize the house just for fun. I'm hoping that his laid back attitude moves forward with him and that he's better behaved than the GSP's were.
I'm one day closer to getting my Cesar Millan DVD's which means I'm one day closer to training Harley right. I know I'll see a lot of progress in him once I start using Cesar's methods. Should be interesting. I'm going to have David watch the DVD's with me so we can be on the same page. David did two things that I didn't really want him to do with Harley. First, he pulled Harley up onto his lap while he was sitting in his recliner. Second, he put Harley on the bed this morning so he could give me kisses (Harley, not David lol). I feel like that's undermining the training I'm trying to do. I don't want him in people's laps or up on the furniture, especially the bed. I like having room to sleep. I had about 3" when Huxley and Blitz slept with us. Not again!
He needs attention so I need to go.
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8:06 AM
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Wednesday, August 12, 2009
A Burst of Energy
Tonight we went out to dinner with Gabe and left Harley home. When we got back he (Harley, not Gabe) was so excited to see me that he was jumping and biting and just generally going nuts. He'd never showed that kind of exuberance before. I had to take him out into the yard and run around and play with him. He was so cute. I wish I had brought the camera out with me. He also peed and pooped without much direction. Later he peed in the house again. I caught him midstream and brought him out. He finished peeing outside. I'm not sure why he went in the house. I guess it's just because he's a puppy and he can't always hold it and he doesn't know that he's doing the wrong thing yet. I'm working on it though.
I like his new kennel a whole lot more than the other one. I can see him all the time which means that he can see me all the time without having to peek out tiny little holes in the sides of the kennel. He rearranged his bedding while we were gone. He, thankfully, has not gone to the bathroom in his kennel. He can stretch out in this kennel. He couldn't stretch out anymore in the one I bought just four days ago. I'm going to try to take it and the leashes and one of the toys back for a refund. I hope they'll let me bring the leashes and collar back without the tags. If not I'll just have to save them for when he gets bigger. And I don't think that will take long at all.
He's napping again (still). He has his nose sticking out the corner of the kennel. It looks so cute.
I may try to get the tray that fits in the kennel so that I don't have to keep a blanket in there and so that he doesn't have access to the carpet (the kennel sits right on the floor). I'd feel better about that and wouldn't worry so much about him getting caught or stuck or hung up. Even though this kennel is bigger it seems to take up less space because it is so open.
I have to give Harley his heart guard medicine. I hope it doesn't upset his stomach. It's chewable, a beef flavor it says (I didn't try it lol) so maybe he'll do okay with it. He'll have to get that next time we go to the vets too and then again in October. In November I can get him neutered and get his microchip implanted. He weighed 16 pounds and 8 ounces this visit. I can't wait to see how much he grows in just a month. I hope I can keep up with his energy as he grows.
David wanted to take him for a ride over to Garden of the Gods but I didn't think that was a good idea. He'd be too hard to hold in the car all that time (we wouldn't have room for his kennel with Gabe too), he might pee or poop in the car and he hasn't had all of his shots yet. It's more relaxing just being home with him. He's not really ready for long car rides just yet.
My Cesar Millan DVD's were shipped today. Hopefully they'll be here no later than Saturday. I'm really anxious to get them. I want the best chance of I can get of training him well. I want him to be a well behaved dog with everyone. I would love for him to be a therapy dog one day. I think he has the temperament for that. He's so mellow (when he's not going nuts when he sees me that is). Right now I feel like I'm floundering as the pack leader even though he is learning some things. I really want to learn how to keep him from jumping up on us and from biting us. He's already shredded my right forearm. Okay, maybe not shredded but I do have about 6 scabs already. I don't want him to get all excited every time I get home or he sees someone new.
We had an interesting situation yesterday at the vet that I didn't know how to handle. The receptionist got on the floor with him and he was jumping on her. She was obviously fine with it but I wasn't. I should have said that we don't want him jumping on people but I wasn't sure that was okay to say. Now I know it would have been okay to say that. I don't want strangers to encourage bad behavior in Harley. That's something that I can work on as we go along.
I sometimes call him Huxley. I get all their names confused. He's definitely my Harley though.
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5:39 PM
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Harley's "new" kennel
Here's a picture of Harley in his new kennel. It's about twice as big as the other one and wide open. I think he'll like that better. He won't feel so locked away like he did in the plastic kennel. I hope he doesn't go to the bathroom in the kennel since it was used by another dog. I just like that's it's more spacious for him. I have in bed in the back and the towel he was sleeping on in the front so hopefully he'll see all of it as his home and not a potty area. He's trying to move all the blankets around. That's okay it's his space. He can do that if he wants to. As long as he has room to sleep it will be fine.
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1:36 PM
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Day #4 with Harley
David was up a lot last night so that meant that Harley was up a lot too which meant that I was up a lot. Harley has never gone to the bathroom in his kennel and I am very grateful for that. So I had to take him out a few times last night but I didn't mind because he is such a wonderful puppy. He did have an accident in the house by the door this morning. Again, it was my fault for not noticing that he had to go. He is going to the bathroom outside most of the time though and that's awesome. Harley is in his kennel right now taking a nap. Gabe is here and he's played with him and Harley enjoyed that. Harley is pretty much attached to me already. He follows after me a lot. I'm hoping he sees me as his pack leader. I did order (from half.com so it was cheaper) the DVD series Cesar Millan has on Leadership. I think that will help me out a lot. I can't wait to get it.
Harley is already outgrowing the kennel I got for him just 4 days ago! So I looked on craigslist and found a bigger wire kennel for him. The guy I'm buying it from is going to bring it over at 1:30pm. I'll have to put some blankets in it for now and his bed because it's a wire bottom. I want him to have room to move around and stretch out and stand up without bumping his head. I'll sell the kennel I just bought on craigslist. That should pay for the new one I'm getting today.
Harley is doing great with his training. I'm working on "outside, inside, do your business and sit". I need to really work on "come" so he'll come to me better. He's not too bad about it but he mostly just does it when he wants to right now. I'm sure that Cesar's DVD's will help me out a lot. I wish I had them today so I could start training Cesar's Way right now. I should have them by the end of the week though.
I'm so happy that I'm feeling so much more relaxed with Harley than I did with Skooter and Moped. Different breed, different experience. I know it will get hectic as he gets older but if I can start out on the right foot we'll do great together. I love having him. We went out to breakfast this morning (Gabe's treat) and I really looked forward to getting home and seeing Harley. He was happy to see me too. I don't think he has much if any separation anxiety. He's always just sitting in his kennel when I get home. He's great. He's so good in fact that I'm more than willing to let him out of the kennel for most of the day because mostly he just sleeps. I'm going to enjoy that while it's happening. He'll be more active before I know it.
I just let him out of his kennel and took him outside. He didn't have to go to the bathroom. So I brought him back in and he's eating his lunch right now. I'll bring him out as soon as he finishes so he can poop. He's funny because he sits down to eat. At some point I'll get him the raised bowls. I like that set up. Now he's laying down and eating. He's too funny.
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11:34 AM
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Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Routine trip to the vet
I had a much better day with Harley today. Not because of him but because of me. I realized that yesterday I was being hypervigilant like I use to be with Skooter and Moped. That almost drove me crazy so I decided that I didn't need to do that with Harley. So today he was out of his kennel most of the day and he slept and played and went outside. And I didn't whip myself into a frenzy. Training the human is way more complicated than training the puppy. lol He did have some accidents in the house today. Most were because I didn't notice or didn't keep him out long enough. I think one time it was because he realized that the big dogs were out in back of us. He didn't want to go out there. Later in the afternoon when David came home I asked David to bring him out. While they were out there the big dogs came to the fence. Harley was scared and stuck close to us. He did pretty good though.
Tonight we brought him to his first vet visit. I thought for sure he'd be running all over the place but he was his usual mellow self. The receptionist really liked him and gave him some treats. He loved that. Harley was excellent with the vet, Dr. McKenney. She gave him a clean bill of health and gave him his first of three series of shots. He didn't even notice she was giving him the shot because he was too busy eating the treats the doctor had given him. She said that he would be tired tonight. He didn't have a reaction to the shot which was a blessing. He's been in his kennel since we got home, sleeping the whole time. He's such a good boy.
I need to bring him back in September for his next shots and then in October for the last of the puppy shots (which includes his rabies shot). We don't get him neutered until he's about 5 or 6 months old. I'll have him microchipped at the same time. We might also get his dew claws removed. I don't really want to do that but David wants to. Of course I'll be the one taking care of Harley so I'm going to make the final decision. I brought in a poop sample to make sure he doesn't have any parasites. We'll be giving him a monthly heartworm medicine through October as a preventative measure. We'll also get him the dog flu shot since it's going around in Colorado.
Harley will probably sleep through the night tonight because of his shots but I'll get him out there before we go to bed so he can do his business. I'm hoping to have a better day tomorrow as far as housebreaking goes. I can't ask for more as far as his temperament and personality. He's great. Gabe will be here tomorrow so I'm hoping that doesn't throw off his housebreaking.
The only negative thing today is that my back is really hurting. I think it's from bending over so much. I'll have to be mindful of that from now on.
I made an order with Furry Friends last night and they delivered it today along with the dog treats that they leave. I'm going to have to wean him off of the Beneful. I gave him just the FF food today and he ate most of it. The vet said that I should be feeding him about a cup and a half of food each day. So that will be half a cup three times a day. I've fed him that much already today so no dinner for him tonight. Tomorrow I'll start the weaning process. He probably isn't very hungry tonight any way because he got his shot.
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The journey to finding a dog
A lot has happened in the last few days. On Saturday we went to 7 different dog adoption fairs. I saw a few dogs who I kind of liked but they all had issues (separation anxiety, hand shy, too much energy, etc.). We started out at 11am and didn't finish up until about 3pm. We saw lots of dogs. It was good for me to see all the dogs though. It gave me an idea more of what I didn't want in a dog. I didn't want to inherit someone else's problems. I also didn't want "someone else's dog". I really wanted it to be my dog. David liked quite a few of them and was kind of anxious to get a dog but I didn't let that sway me. He did keep saying that it was my decision and I appreciated that he really knew that. So after 7 adoption fairs we headed home. I was anxious to check email because I had sent a lot of emails out about dogs on craigslist. But on the way home I asked David to make one more stop at our PetsMart to see if they were having an adoption fair. And they were. I really liked one dog there, Rocky, but he was very timid and hand shy. So I opted not to get him. Once we got home I checked emails and realized that a lady that I had been emailing with hadn't called me about a dog she had, a Jack Russell Terrier name Tevis. She said that he was highly trained so that would have been a big plus. I sent her an email and told her that I was still interested and wanted to see the dog. She called me within 5 minutes. We made plans to go right up to Palmer Lake and see the dog.
Tevis is a beautiful Jack Russell Terrier but he has WAY too much energy for me. He's fixated on his tennis ball too. He was constantly (and I mean constantly) wanted someone to throw the ball for him or he was looking for his ball (it was put up on a table). He was extremely fast and my biggest concern was that he would bolt out the door after a rabbit and never be seen again. Plus, he really was Linda's dog. She really didn't want to let him go but was doing what she thought was best for Tevis. She wanted to remain in his life though and I honestly wasn't up for that. Not that what she wanted wasn't okay but it's just that I wanted MY dog, no someone else's dog. The dog didn't seem to obey very many commands (sit, drop it, etc.). I didn't perceive him as being highly trained. Except when it came to his tennis ball. We considered Tevis but after just a few hours of thinking and worrying about him escaping or "her" dog getting hurt or lost I decided he wasn't the dog for me. I want a walking buddy but not one that has that much energy.
So at the end of day one we had seen about 80 dogs but didn't find that special one. Sunday morning we got up and after breakfast we went to to an animal shelter in Pueblo. They had about 50 dogs there! There was one, named Parker, who was cool. He is a Basenji. I strongly considered him but left without him. When we got home from Pueblo I researched Basenji's and called the shelter and asked additional questions and realized that he wasn't the dog for me either. He was a digger and a chewer on top of having boundless energy, being aloof and being a jumper (he could jump at least 5 feet straight up - it was amazing to see). After much consideration and research I decided that he was not the dog for me.
So I went back to looking for dogs on craigslist. I literally was looking at every post in the pets section for dogs. After looking at all the dogs we had seen Saturday and Sunday I was able to clearly see that a lab (or lab mix) was the kind of dog for me. I had read that a lab bred with a golden retriever was a great combination. So I sent an email to just about everyone who had a lab or lab puppy to rehome. Most of them were gone by the time that I had emailed. But I didn't feel discouraged at all because I knew that when I saw the dog I would know it was the dog for me. Mostly I would know because I wouldn't feel awful anxiety about him getting out of the yard or not housetraining properly or having too much energy. What I would feel is peace and calm over making the decision. So it was 5pm and the weekend was pretty much over so I conceded that a dog wasn't in the plans for this weekend. There was always craigslist and seeing other dogs at adoption fairs next weekend.
I was sitting down watching TV and saw an ad for an online, free classified site called gcolorado.com. I had seen the sight before but hadn't looked at it in a long time. So I went to gcolorado.com and checked out the dogs. On that site people were allowed to sell puppies from litter for a price (on craigslist you can only rehome a dog for an adoption fee or rehoming fee - no dog sales - although that's exactly what a lot of them really are). Anyway, on the second page of the ads I saw a listing for Golden Retriever/Black Lab puppies. That was the kind of dog that I really wanted. I was waiting on info from one other person about a beagle/heeler mix named Tacoma but called about the puppy anyway. We made an appointment to go right over and see the dog. I was a bit aprehensive about getting a puppy though. When we got to the house where the puppy was a got a call from the lady about the beagle/heeler - he was no longer available. So I could make a free choice about the puppy.
When we went in the house I first saw one of the female puppies that was not available (they were keeping her). She was darling. Then the lady's husband came in with the last puppy, a male, that was available. He was a handsome boy. I watched how he was with other people, other dogs and got a general idea of his personality and temperament. Now I was getting excited. He was the breed of dog I wanted, he was good looking and he was smart. Now I had a decision to make. I asked the people if it was okay for David and I to go outside to talk for a minute to make a decision. They were fine with that. It didn't take much time for me to decide that he was the dog for me. We went back in and told them that we would definitely take him. They were asking $150 in the ad for him but said we could take him for $100 (score!). They called him StarWars. I told her that we would be naming him Harley (Skooter, Moped and now Harley lol).
We didn't have anything for a dog to come home. I didn't even have a kennel to transport him. I held him on my lap the whole way home. He never fussed. He was well behaved (unlike Moped - yikes!) and seemed very calm and attentive. David watched Harley while I went to PetsMart to pick up some supplies. I got there 10 mintues before the store was closing! It was a quick shopping trip, to say the least. I got him a kennel that was on sale, dog bowls, dog food, a bed (which were not using yet, we wanted to make sure he wouldn't have an accident in his kennel) some toys and pooper scooper bags. I promised myself that I would clean up after this dog every time it went to the bathroom. Now, I know that's not really going to happen every time, but I'm going to stay on top of the yard this time. No waiting for a week to pay someone else to come out and clean it.
When I got home from the store David and Harley were sitting together. It was so sweet. Harley had fallen asleep. That made me believe that he was comfortable in his new surroundings. I put him down on a towel in the bottom half of his kennel (I hadn't put it together yet) and he slept for at least an hours. Then he woke up, went outside and did his business. He got excited about everything that I brought home. He wanted to explore each thing as I took it out of the bag. While he did that (explored) I put his kennel together. He slept through the night in his kennel!! We both were amazed that he did that. I woke up a few times just to listen for him but he was fine. When he first got in the kennel he wined and howled (which was kind of cute but I'm sure it would wear on me if he did it all the time) but then he settled down and went to sleep.
He got up at 4am mostly I think because the auto timer turned the light on. He probably would have slept longer if the light hadn't come on. But I was thrilled that he slept that long. I got up and took him outside to do his business and he did. No accident in the kennel. Woot! This was a good sign.
I'll admit that the first day with him was very rough. Not because of him but because of me. I didn't just let him be. I was constantly watching him and making sure he didn't touch anything he wasn't supposed to (meaning everything but his toys). I pretty much made myself miserable the first day. And there really was no need to do that because even at 9 weeks, he's a very well behaved dog. He was already sitting to go in and out the door and when I gave him food. I think part of the stress I was feeling was lack of knowledge of how to take care of a puppy. I just couldn't remember what it was like with Skooter and Moped. By the time David got home I was feeling frantic and thinking that I had made a mistake. But I talked to David about it and he offered for me to go out and he's watch Harley. That was the best thing he could have done for me. So I went to the store and got us something for dinner. I wasn't gone too long but long enough to realize that I had whipped myself into a frenzy over this dog. I was trying to do everything on his schedule and wasn't making him adapt to my schedule.
I went out during the middle of the day for my appointment with Marianne and left him home, in his kennel for a little over 2 hours. He did just fine. I wasn't going to cancel my appointment to stay home with him.
By evening time I was feeling much better, much more calm and relaxed. I could see that he was a mellow dog and that I didn't need to get so anxious about the whole thing. And I knew that the chances were good that he'd sleep through the night again. We went to bed earlier the second night than we did the first and that helped too. He did sleep through the night again. When the light went on at 4am he woke up. I took him out and he did his business. We came back in and he went back into his kennel and I went back to bed. We got up agian around 6:30am or so. I fed him and he went outside and pooped right away. I put him in his kennel so I could go to the store and get some milk and he was fine while I was gone. I came home and had my breakfast and then let him out of his kennel to play. He loves this Kong toy I got for him that has "tails" that he can bite on and a squeaker sewn into it (don't worry, it's stiched up really well). He played for about an hour.
I made a mental decision that I wasn't going to just sit there and watch him all day like I had done the day before. That was nerve racking. I was going to do the things I would normally do and needed to do while he was out of his kennel. He's been out for almost 2 hours now and all he's done is sleep. He went out a few times to do his business and then came right back in to sleep again. He's very mellow and that's the kind of dog I need. I know there will be rowdy times and as he gets older he won't sleep as much, but I just don't see him being a problem like Moped was. Dont' get me wrong, I love Moped, but he just had way too much energy for me (or Skooter!). Harley is definitely the right temperament for me.
So we've had a very relaxing morning and Harleykins had behaved very well. He does try to bite ont he furniture and rug but I tell him 'no' and give him his toy to chew on and he seems happy. Today I feel totally good about the decision I made to get him. I know there will be other days when I doubt my decision again but I think most days will be pleasant with Harley.
I already got food delivered from Furry Friends. They have a puppy blend that is much better then the Beneful. I believe in feeding a premium kibble so that the dog has a better chance of staying healthy. Speaking of healthy, I already have his first appointment at the vet set for 5:10pm tonight. I'm going to take him to the vet instead of having Dr. G come to the house. He'll need to be neutered at some point and that's easier at a clinic than doing it at the house. He'll get a checkup and get his first shots. He'll probably tired after that so I expect him to be sleepy tonight (although I'm not sure how much more sleep he can get in one day! haha). He seems to be pretty healthy so I don't anticipate any problems.
His first owners did an awesome job on training him. He's a very smart and well mannered boy. You can tell that they put a lot of time in with Harley. I'm grateful that they were such good owners. And I'm very grateful that they parted with him so we could have him. He's a treasure.
So now we begin a new adventure with Harley the Retriever and his best buddy Samantha. I'm looking forward to the day when I can take him up on the trail to get him used to other dogs and people and different things to look at. That will be great. I know he'll enjoy that too.
Here's a picture of Harley and his Kong toy. He has a little white under his chin and on his chest. I'll get better pictures of him as we go along.
In other news, today is Huxley and Blitz's birthday. They are 9 years old today. I'm a little sad that I can't be with them, but I love knowing that they have a wonderful home up in Woodland Park. I know their new owners are taking very good care of them. Happy Birthday Huxley Buxley and Blitzie Witzie!! I love you and miss you.
Okay time for me to get some stuff done. Gabe will be here tomorrow for a day or two on his journey back to Milwaukee and I need to get this house straightened out a bit. Harley is still sleeping so I should be able to get some stuff done. If he gets up I'll keep him with me as long as he's not too hyper and I can get him to play with his toy. If he's too much I'll let him enjoy a nap in his kennel.
This is a big commitment that I'm making, owning a dog. And it's an even bigger one starting out with a puppy. I'm determined to make this work though. Giving him up is not an option (okay, on bad days it'll be an option in my head only, but he's not going anywhere). I'm really glad that God worked things out so we could get him. Oh yeah, after we got home the lady that had the beagle/heeler dog called and said that he was available again (some young kid without parents permission had taken him but had to bring him back). I told her that we had just bought our puppy and we're no longer interested in Tacoma. She was very nice about it. So things worked out the way they should have and I'm happy. And Harley seems happy too.
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9:19 AM
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Saturday, August 8, 2009
Second thoughts
I'm up and it's 1:30am (ugh!). I was looking over ads on craigslist for animals that need to be rehomed (given up) and the sheer number of animals is overwhelming. I'm not judging anyone. I've done my own rehoming of 4 dogs and 2 cats. It just makes me feel so sad that there are so many animals that are probably going to end up at the Humane Society. They are crowded as it is. I don't know. It's just making me sad tonight. It makes me think that maybe I should be doing something for these displaced animals, like volunteering or fostering. I just don't know that I want the responsibility for a dog. I'm being honest. I wouldn't get a dog unless I could be 100% committed to it but I have to ask myself if I am ready for that commitment. David's at work all day and all the responsibility for the dog will fall to me. Am I okay with that? There really is a part of me that thinks that having a dog would just be awesome but there is also a part of me that is afraid to own a dog again. I would think that I have to err on the side of caution. If I'm having second thoughts then I should probably stop this search for a dog. I don't want an animal to be unhappy because I'm being selfish. It's not all about me. It's about the dog too.
What makes me think that I can do anything different this time around? I haven't significantly changed as a person. I'll be bringing in all the same aspects of myself that I brought to the table before. And those situations didn't end well for me. I really miss all of my dogs but I just wasn't 100% committed to taking care of them. I certainly 100% loved them but that's just not enough for a dog. It's a lifetime commitment. Can I make a lifetime commitment? Oh the irony of having all these second thoughts on the day that I've set aside to visit about five adoption fairs. I don't want to come home with a dog just because I dared to look. I really have to think this through.
Maybe I shouldn't go to the adoption fairs at all. Or maybe I should go to see what happens to these dogs when they are given up. Why as humans do we breed so many animals? There is certainly a surplus population out there, yet breeders keep breeding and people still don't get thier animals spayed or neutered. I wonder what God will think of us when we get to heaven. I can't imagine he'd be thrilled that we 'made' more than we could use and just kind of dumped the rest. I don't know why I'm getting all philosophical about this. I guess that's what I do at this time of the day. I don't know if I get to the core of me during these times or if I'm just tired and not thinking straight. Either way I have to look past me and be truthful with myself about what having a dog means to me. If I'm already looking for ways out then it's not the time to get a dog. Is it okay to have second thoughts about this? Is it alright that I'm really questioning whether it's a good thing to do or not?
I think I'm going to go to bed. I'm kind of making myself crazy here. I guess I'll see how I feel when I get up in the morning and just go from there. There's no harm in looking at dogs. I don't feel any pressure to bring one home. Actually I feel more pressure to not bring a dog home. I so want to do the right thing for me and for the dog. I'll set the struggle aside for now and go back to bed. That's the best thing I can do right now.
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1:23 AM
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Friday, August 7, 2009
JRT
I sent an email to a lady about a Jack Russell Terrier that is a four year old male. He was a show dog and has had lots of training. He's a beautiful smooth coat boy. I'm hoping that David and I could see him sometime tomorrow. I have my doubts about a JRT being the dog for me but I'm willing to give him a chance. I did a lot of research on JRT's, their history, temperament, traits, etc. It was interesting to learn so much about them. I sent the owner another email with my number so she can call me and we can set up a time to see the dog.
The closer I get to the realilty of having a dog again, the more I take a step back and evaluate the situation. I don't know that a JRT would be a good match for me/us but I still think I can learn from the experience of considering a JRT. Learning what I DON'T want is as important as learning what I do want. Since I don't have a lot of experiences to look back on I have to learn from current situations.
I know the easiest thing to do would be to NOT get a dog. Would I really take a dog for a walk twice a day? Would I clean up the yard EVERY day? Would I have the energy and inclination to do obedience training every day? Lots of questions I have to answer before I decide to get a dog. I am going to look tomorrow though. There are SIX adoption fairs around town from 11am - 3pm. I'm not sure we'll get to all of them or if we'll even need to get to all of them but I'm up for the challenge.
I can't expect a dog to change my life. My life is what it is. I'm a low activity person and I need a dog that would gel with that type of life. I do want a dog to walk with me but I also want him to be mellow when he's home. I'm still thinking that a labrador/golden retriever mix would be awesome. It's a big dog, but a mellow dog. As long as I can keep up with the yard I'd be okay.
But will I keep up with the yard? I think I will but I've never done it before. I've let it go for weeks and then had a guy come and clean it up for me. I don't have the money to do that now and I also don't want poop being out there for a week. I need to pick up poop every time the dog goes to the bathroom. It has to be a daily chore for this to work. I just need to get into a routine.
Truth be told, I'm scared. Getting a dog is a big commitment. I have to give 100% to a dog. Life would change for me again. Am I ready for that? Do I want that? I don't want an adorable face to sway me. I feel that I can stand strong and say 'no' to any dog I have issues with. That's what makes now different from then. I know in my brain and in my heart that it's okay to say 'no'. I know there is no rush to get a dog, if I get a dog at all. But tomorrow I'm not going to let all this ruin the fun of checking out dogs. That's something I would do whether or not I wanted a dog.
I'm going to do some more research on what it takes to be ready to take in a new dog, whether it's a puppy or an older dog. Being informed is very helpful.
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9:12 PM
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A dog and my friends
I sent an email to Kitty and Lisa to let them know I've decided to get a dog. I sent them an email so I could tell them at the same time and because I feel like I can express myself better in writing than I can verbally. Kitty has already responded to me. She brought up a very good point - if David and I are not on the same page with training a dog and how we handle the dog then it's going to end up with me rehoming another dog and I don't want that again. David and I have to be consistent with how we treat the dog. I'll have to talk to him about that today and see if we can come to an understanding. If not, then getting a dog will not happen.
On craigslist this morning there's an ad for a chocolate lab. I sent an email to the owner asking some questions about the dog. I haven't heard back yet from the person. The dog is a 1 year old male who is "well mannered" (whatever that means). Again, I'm in no rush to pick out a dog. I feel like all of my options are wide open. I can't afford to NOT be picky about what dog I get. I've resigned myself to the fact that I may not find a dog for a while but that in the end it will be worth the wait.
I didn't put much thought or research into getting Skooter and Moped. David wanted to get them so we did. That was pretty much it. And Huxley and Blitz, well I felt like I had to take them so they wouldn't be separated. I constantly went back and forth on whether to keep them or not. In the end I felt like I did the right thing by rehoming them all but now that I look back, I should have put more time and effort into their training and I definitely should have brought David on board.
** phone call **
Just talked to Lisa about the dog situation. She brought up some good points for me to think about. There are lots of emotional things I'll be able to work through just thinking about getting a dog and that's good. Getting the dog may be down the road (or it may be tomorrow) but I can use all the things it brings up in me to better myself. I know what effect it's had on me already is that I'm happier. I feel like just looking for a dog gives me some purpose. I've been getting up earlier and not napping so much. Of course, it's not just researching a dog, it's researching anything. Researching makes me feel alive. I get to use my brain and think outside the box (which is my brain). So this can be a good thing for me as a person. And I honestly know it's not really even about the dog, it's about me.
I do need to keep in mind that a smaller dog is probably better for me at this time in my life. A big dog is just too much work. I don't know that I want that again. I'd like a dog that can sit in my lap and go walking with me but that also doesn't take up all my time (waking me up, getting the door, etc.). The dog I get needs to fit into my life, not me fitting into it's life. If I can't find a dog like that then I just won't get a dog. I don't want to worry about a dog jumping our small fence and running around the neighborhood or getting hit. I also don't want to worry about a dog that will knock me over. As much as I miss Huxley and Blitz, I don't miss their size and power. It's nice to have my bed back. lol
So I'll go look at dogs tomorrow and try to get an idea of what I need to be looking for in a dog. I feel no pressure to get a dog tomorrow. There are lots of dogs out there and when the time is right, I'll get one. But until then I'll definitely use all of this stuff that I'm discovering to help make me a better person. Like the saying goes "I want to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am".
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8:59 AM
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Thursday, August 6, 2009
Just thinking about things
It's funny but now that I've decided to get a dog I feel no pressure to get one. I've looked at a few on craigslist tonight but nothing that really caught my eye. I'm excited that there are 3 adoption fairs in town this Saturday. I feel like I won't find "the dog" this weekend but that's okay. I'm in no rush. A dog will be more work for me, especially keeping the yard clean, but I feel that I'm up to the challenge now that I'm not working. And I'll be able to walk the dogs on my walk each day. I'll have to keep it on a leash for a while but eventually I'd like to be able to have a dog off leash. It'll take a while to be able to do that but I can be patient. I wouldn't want my dog to run off and get lost. That would be tragic after all I've gone through with my dogs.
I was thinking about Moped tonight because someone on craigslist said their dog talked like a Wookie. Moped was always making Wookie noises. I loved that about him. There is a GSP on craigslist but I have to keep telling myself that a GSP is just not a good match for me. As much as I love the breed I'll have to go with a mellower less enthusiastic dog. I think about Huxley and Blitz a lot. I wonder how they are doing. I'd love to see a picture of them playing in their yard again. Oh well, I know they are well loved and well taken care of now.
One of the things I realized is that I'm afraid my friends will think I'm crazy for getting another dog but I'm willing to deal with that. I really miss having a dog. I know it will keep me busy but now that I'm home all the time it shouldn't be nearly as draining as it was with the others. I know that I can't get two dogs and especially not two puppies like Skooter and Moped. They really were too much for me. If I had just kept Skooter it might have worked because he was out of the draining puppy stage. He was still a puppy but not like Moped. I can't belive when I think back on it that I had to keep them tied up even when they were in the house. No that's out of control.
I wonder if now that I've given myself permission to get a dog if the need to get one will decrease. I'm not going to spend too much time thinking about that. I'll know as I go along how I feel. I'm trying to go into this with my eyes wide open this time. I know I need a dog that's good on a leash, that's for sure. I don't want to have my shoulder pulled out of the socket like the other four did to me. I think about being a calm and assertive 'pack leader' and wonder if I'm going to be able to pull that off. I love to baby my dogs and that's not a good thing. I need to exercise them, discipline them and then give them affection. That's the way the dog whisperer says to do it and he has an awesome pack of dogs.
I've already looked at some training I could get a dog into. The person that I'm looking at also does therapy dog training. I wouldn't mind having a certified therapy dog. I also should look into agility training for a dog, especially if it's a sporting dog breed. The more I can get the dog involved in the happier we'll all be.
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8:47 PM
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I'm getting a dog
I've decided that I am going to get a dog. After much consideration and discussion with Marianne, I think it would be a good thing for me to get a dog. Beside the dog being a good companion and making me happy it will give me a chance to work out my commitment and responsibility issues. The worst thing that could happen is that I realize that I am still not ready for the commitment and responsibility and I would have to find the dog a good home. But giving up the dog is NOT going to be an option this time. I know now that the first 2 years of having a dog (whether it's a puppy or an older dog) is an adjustment period for not just the dog but for me too. Things will be challenging during the time that I'm getting the dog adjusted to living here and that's going to be okay this time. What I thought about was how children are difficult for parents but they don't give them away. They get through the rough times with encouragement, support, humor and sometimes some tears. I need to allow myself the imperfections of owning a dog and the imperfections of being human.
This dog will allow me to work through issues that I've been dealing with forever. I gave up my other dogs because I thought that someone else could do a better job with them than I could. But as I look back I realize that I did a very good job with my dogs. I just wasn't mentally in the right space to have Skooter and Moped. Huxley and Blitz, well, I just thought they deserved better than me. I know now that I am deserving of having a dog and that the dog can get as much from me as I can get from it. And I know it's okay to have difficult times with a dog. It's not all going to be perfect.
I'm still ready to wait for the right dog. I don't want to make a rash decision about a dog and end up regretting it for the life of the dog. I've already given up enough. I miss all of my dogs. If I had been in therapy back then, maybe I could have kept my dogs. But that's water under the bridge now. Now I'm looking for a dog who will help me get through my therapy. It's okay for me to count on a dog to help me out. Dogs like to have jobs and this dog's job will be to help me move forward as a person.
I do have some doubts, not about the dog but about me. Will I be a good owner? Will I have what it takes to train him/her? I know now that I will be a good owner and I am good at training my dogs. So it's a dog for me. I just don't know when or who but that will sort itself out.
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5:04 PM
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Putting the brakes on this runaway train
I've decided not to go see the Mauzer puppy. A toy breed just wouldn't work for me. I want a real dog. I've also decided not to go to the Humane Society tomorrow. It's too difficult to tell what temperament the dog has and how he/she reacts when they only let you visit with them in a tiny room. I need to know how a dog will behave on a leash. That's critical for me. I'm not in any rush and know I don't have to make any decisions until I'm ready. I won't get a dog just to get a dog. I will make sure that it's the absolute right fit for me (which means I may not get a dog at all). We're still going to visit the adoption fairs on Saturday though. If nothing else, it will be fun to see all the dogs. An older dog, one that has already proven itself may be a better choice than a younger dog who needs lots of training. So anyway, I'm putting the brakes on this runaway train and slowing down to give myself time to think. There is no rush for me to get a dog. I've gone this long without a dog and I've been okay. Waiting days, weeks or months would be fine. I have to make sure I am really ready for a dog before I get one. I have to make a 100% commitment and I have to not let myself get into the thinking that the dog would be better off with someone else. Really I'm just missing Huxley and Blitz. I sure would like to have them back. They were good dogs for me and my lifestyle. Oh well, what's done is done.
I realize that I want a dog that can be a therapy dog for me. I did some research on PSD's (Psychiatric Servie Dogs) and found that people with my issues (major depression, PTSD, BPD) can greatly benefit from having a dog. But not just any dog. It has to be a thoughtful, intelligent, mellow dog. A dog that is chaotic would just make things worse for me. I need a dog that will add peace and calm to my life, not chaos. So again, that may mean no dog at all. I'd like to get a PSD but they are incredibly expensive (like over $10k!). I understand the cost because of all the specialized training but I obviously don't have that kind of money to put into a dog.
As far as breeds that I'm interested in, I think a labrador (black, chocolate or yellow) would be a good pick. But it's not just the breed, it's the individual dog and it's temperament and personality. I also have been doing research on how to pick out a good dog. It's not that easy but I have picked up a few hints. I'm going to do more research and see what I can find on testing a dog for temperament and personality. I'll take advantage of all the resources that are out there.
Off to do some research.
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10:36 AM
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Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Mauzer or Lab
There's another puppy on craigslist that I'm interested in. I sent an email and already got a reply. I've sent another email asking if I could see the dog tomorrow. The dog is a Mauzer (Mini Schnauzer and Maltese mix), male, 12 weeks old. He's a cutie. He'll probably grow to be about 10 pounds at the most. Getting a small dog might really work for me. It would be a lot easier to take care of than a large dog. But I haven't made any concrete decisions yet. I'd like a dog that would be easy to take with me. And I'd love a dog that I could bring over to my friend's houses.
But I'm also thinking about a large dog, a labrador. I wouldn't mind getting a young or adult lab. I'd like it if it was already potty trained and knew some commands. A lab would be a good walking buddy. I'm not sure that the Mauzer would be a good walking buddy. lol I'm a bit hesitant to get a dog off of craigslist because I'm not sure I could tell what kind of temperment the dog has if it's not around other dogs or people. Seeing dogs at adoption fairs would make that possible. I'll just have to see how this all pans out.
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10:35 PM
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Research
I need to give a lot of thought to getting a dog. I really need to make sure it works for me AND the dog. I've spent a lot of time researching dog breeds. I'd love to have a GSP but I just don't know that it would work if it's a high energy GSP. They were one of the recommended dogs for our lifestyle though. I guess I'll just have to see what's available this weekend that might match our lifestyle. If there isn't a dog that is a good match, then we wait. I feel stupid for wanting a dog when I've already given up four dogs. I'm just really going to have to think about this.
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2:51 PM
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Figuring some things out
It's almost 3am and I'm up for no good reason. I do my most honest thinking this time of day so I thought I'd blog about getting a dog. Am I really ready for another dog? I feel like I am. I feel like I always have been ready for another dog. Can I take care of a dog the way it needs to be taken care of? Yes, I think I can. What's different for me now is that I am more active than I was just months ago. I can offer a dog a nice walk each morning to start his/her day. I feel that I can keep up with grooming and with cleaning the yard. I won't feel held back by a dog because I want a dog in my life. I'm home most of the time anyway so giving a dog attention and training will work into my schedule now. Not working a part time job will make a huge difference. Any dog that I get shouldn't be bored if I'm walking him/her daily and spending lots of time on training (basic commands and more). And of course there's also time for cuddling too.
I realize that this is a major step for me mentally and emotionally. There is always this mysterious "they" that I consider when making decisions. "They will think that I shouldn't have a dog." "They will think I'm stupid for getting a dog." Negative thoughts like that. There is no "they", it's just all in my head. But somehow I feel like someone is supposed to give me permission to get a dog. When I think it through I can see that 'they' is really the remnants of my mom. I wouldn't have been able to make this kind of decision without going through her for an okay (even as an adult) so I go through 'her' in my head. I'm an adult now and have my own life. She has been gone for 9 years now. It's time for me to let go of her and stand on my own. Well, not really on my own since I want a dog beside me. ;)
Getting a dog is a big commitment. It always has been. So why did I rehome my four dogs? Well, it was my 'mom' again. When I was growing up my mom would give away my pets to other, more deserving people. One time I was out bowling and when I came home she had given my dog away. I was just a kid and didn't really understand what had happened. I didn't know to think that it was wrong of her to do that. I took in the lie that my pets would always be better off with someone else. I know now that's not true but I didn't know that last November when I rehomed Huxley and Blitz. I thought that because I had issues with them that I should give them away. But I equate it to a person with a baby or child who keeps them up at night or gives them a hard time - you don't give your kid away because they aren't behaving properly all the time. And these dogs were my kids. But it was so easy for me to feel like I didn't deserve my dogs and that giving them away was the natural thing to do. I was just continuing on my mother's work.
I'm not saying that having a dog is going to be easy or without complaint but what I am saying is that I'm not going to do what my mother did to me anymore. I still feel like all four dogs are my dogs. I wasn't ready to let any of them go. I just did to myself what my mom would have done to me in this situation. That stops now.
No one is talking me into getting a dog. It's my decision wholeheartedly. I don't need to make it anyone else's decision anymore. If I told myself that they were David's dogs then I wouldn't have given them up but they were my dogs and giving them up was just part of what happens with me. No, I'm deciding this time. I'm saying that I want to get a dog for me and be proud that it is my dog and that I made the decision. I'm not going to live in fear anymore. I won't have to be afraid that my dog will have to go to someone who deserves it more than me. No one will deserve my dog more than I do.
I'm learning a lot through this dog situation. Even if I ended up not getting a dog, I've made progress in an area where previously I was lacking fortitude. I'm not going to be mean to myself anymore. I won't be thoughtless when it comes to my needs and wants. If I find the right dog, I'll be bringing him home and loving him forever. If something drastic happened and I did have to rehome the dog, then it would be my decision to do that, not my mom's. But I don't see any reason for that to happen now that I know what I have been doing (getting dogs and giving them away to more deserving people). Knowing the truth willl make a difference.
I'm excited about getting a dog now. I don't have to feel like I need permission to get a dog and I don't have to fear giving him/her away to more deserving people. I can own up to making the decision to get the dog and most importantly for keeping the dog. I'm not going to feel like I'm not good enough or not deserving enough to have a dog. I'm not going to let my mom run my life.
So the plan is to go to the Adoption Fairs on Saturday. There will be a few around town this weekend. I don't feel like I have to come home with a dog. I can wait until I KNOW it's the dog for me. I might check the Humane Society again on Friday too. I'm sure there will be other dogs available that weren't available yesterday and new dogs that have come in to the shelter. I want to give a dog a home that really needs and deserves one. I don't need to place an order with a breeder this time to justify getting a dog.
I know it's going to involve a lot of work and a change in our environment to have a dog. I'm up to the challenge. There may be days when I'm not completely up to the challenge but I know from having Huxley and Blitz that even on difficult days, I can take care of my dogs. I feel so much lighter and less sad knowing that a dog may be in my future. I'm a dog person and I am going to have a dog. My depression will be helped by having a dog to pat and love. I can be kind to myself and give myself this gift.
I wish Saturday was here already so I could go and look at dogs but I realize part of this process is patience. I need to wait for the right dog at the right time. I'm in no rush. I've been praying that God would lead me to the right dog and keep a dog out of my life that won't work in the long run. I don't know if that will help or not, but I figure it never hurts to pray.
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2:48 AM
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Tuesday, August 4, 2009
rats!
The dog is not available. *pout* Well on to adoption fairs this Saturday.
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9:20 PM
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A happy boy
I found a dog on craigslist. I'm interested in getting more information on him so I sent an email to the current owner. He's a Bernese Mountain Dog/Australian Shepherd mix (although he looks more like a cattle dog than a australian shepherd). He's about 70 pounds, a big dog, but he is fully grown. He's 20 months old. Of course all I've seen is a picture but he looks like a happy boy. I hope his current owner emails me soon so I'll know if he's available or not. I could go look at him tomorrow but I'd need to have David with me to make sure the dogs likes him too. I wouldn't make a snap decision. I would think about it before I decided.
There's also a bunch of adoption fairs this Saturday at the PetsMarts in town. That would be a good place to see a dog around people and other dogs and lots of stimulation. I want a dog. I want a good dog that is the right fit for me. I want a walking buddy and a dog that would be okay being left alone for a few hours. So much to think about.
I'm already feeling happier just thinking about getting a dog. A dog would be great therapy for me. I'm willing to wait to find the right dog though. It won't make me miss Huxley and Blitz any less to have another dog, but I don't think I'd feel so empty inside if I had a dog.
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8:59 PM
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Sans dog
Well, I came home sans dog. The GSP we looked at much too much dog for me. He wasn't fixed either. Very nice looking boy but just too much energy and power. I guess I needed to see him to convince myself once and for all that a GSP is not the dog for us. As much as I love the breed, it doesn't fit into my lifestyle. There were lots of dogs at the HS but I was only interested in looking at the GSP. I'm sorry we had to pass on him and I pray that he gets a good home, as well as all the other dogs there.
A smaller dog, that won't jump the fence and pull my shoulder out of the socket, is what I should get. I need a dog that I can handle. There were some cute ones at the HS but nothing that really piqued my interest. I do want a dog though. I am more miserable without a dog than I am with one. And the only reason I was miserable was because I just didn't do the right things with the dogs I had. It wasn't their fault at all.
So I'm home without a dog and somehow dealing with it. I would have taken home that GSP if he had the right temperment. I mean, he was a happy boy and all, just too wild. He did know how to sit though, so I know he's a smart dog. Anyway, it wasn't meant to be at the HS today. I can live with that.
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1:55 PM
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A reason to get up every day
Today when David gets home he's going to take me down to the Humane Society. I asked him to take me there. There is a GSP down there that I want to see. He's about 5 years old and looks like Skooter and Moped. I have been praying about this for months now. I'm just not happy without a dog. My depression is worse when I don't have a dog. A dog would give me a reason to get up every day and go walking. I'm lonely and I'd like a companion. I love dogs and want to have one again. I don't know that I'll actually get a dog today but I want to allow myself to think about it.
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1:55 PM
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Monday, August 3, 2009
Broken Heart
I talked to Marianne today about the dogs. I cried when I talked about them. I miss Huxley and Blitz. I had a dream about Skooter and Moped last night. I miss them too. I'm not sure what it is that I miss. I know it's a lot of work having a dog (or two) but there is something that makes all the work worthwhile. But what is it? I guess it's the unconditional love they had for me. I loved coming home and having them greet me. Of course I didn't like when I got to the kitchen and found that they had been in the trash. See that's the thing for just about anything I can think of that I liked there was also something about it that I didn't like. I think I've been thinking about them more since I started walking. It would be nice to have a walking buddy. I see everyone up at Palmer Park with their dogs and I wonder why I can't have a dog. Could I do it right this time? Would I end up giving away another dog? I couldn't do that. It would hurt so much. I know that I never should have given any of them away. It was a responsiblity that I took on and dropped. That wasn't a good thing for me. The dogs have all lucked out and have great homes with other people but that doesn't make this any easier. I don't know what I'm thinking right now. I just know that I miss my dogs. Having another dog wouldn't necessarily make that sadness go away. Marianne told me to pray about the sadness I feel and let God do His thing with my broken heart.
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6:19 PM
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Saturday, August 1, 2009
Heaven
It's been two month since I last wrote in the Dog Blog. I wish I could say that things have changed tremendously and I'm no longer missing my dogs but that would not be the truth. I still miss all four of them and the cats too. My guilt over giving them up is overwhelming. I especially miss my Huxley and Blitz. I can't believe that I gave them up. I know they have a good home in Woodland Park but they were happy with me too. I think about the people who now own them and wonder if anything happened to them (horrible thought I know) could I get my dogs back. I just haven't been able to let go of them. I still think of them as my dogs. I miss them more than I can say.
I don't want the responsibility of dogs right now, but I'd take Huxley and Blitzie back in a second. It's not about having just any dog, it's Huxley and Blitz that I miss. I love my older girls. I wish we would get updates on the dogs but there hasn't been anything on any of them since last winter when we got the picture of Huxley and Blitz treeing a squirrel.
Just seeing this picture makes me want to cry. I love them so much. They are great dogs. I wish I would have been able to keep them. But I know that the timing wasn't right. They were a problem for me. It was hard for me to keep up with them even though they were 8 years old. You can see in the picture that they are like puppies still.
I always tell myself that I'd give anything to see them just one more time but I know that if I did see them I'd want to take them home with me. I couldn't walk away from them again. So, I guess I'm still grieving the loss of my girls. I feel like I will always grieve their loss. Maybe time will take care of that. But until that time, I know that Huxley and Blitz will always be on my mind.
I know it's silly but having the stuffed dogs that look like Hux and Blitzie is a comfort to me. I feel like somehow that a part of them is still here with me. They help with the sadness I feel over giving them up and they don't take up near as much space on the bed. ;) But I would gladly give up my space to have my girls back.
It's been 8 months now that they have been gone. It seems like they just left yesterday. There are some good things about not having dogs but they don't outweigh the goodness of having them. I try to remind myself that they love their new owners and are happy in their lives up in Woodland Park. I try to tell myself they are better off being there but it's honestly not something I believe. They had a good life with me and I certainly love them. It could have worked out if I had just held on for a while. Quitting my part time job would have made all the difference.
Anyway, I miss them terribly and long to see them again one day. I know it won't happen in this lifetime but I can hope that they will be in Heaven when it's my time to go there because that's what Heaven is to me - my dogs.
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4:00 AM
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Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Still crying
It's been a while but I just wanted to let you know that I still miss my dogs and my cats, especially Huxley and Blitz. I still cry every once in while because I miss them so much. I know that they have a wonderful life with their new owners up in Woodland Park. Living on five acres has to be the best for them. I'm sure that chasing squirrels is a daily activity for them. I wonder if they've seen any deer or wild turkeys? Hmmm. I sure do miss them.
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11:18 PM
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Thursday, March 19, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
Holly
This weekend we watched the AKC/Eukanuba Dog Show. You can read an article on the winner, Holly, here. There is also a page on the AKC site about The Pointer. The Pointer is also known as the English Pointer. There are also German Shorthaired Pointer (like we've had) and the German Wirehaired Pointer. I'm doing some research to see if there are any other Pointer breeds.
For anyone looking for a GSP, remember to check the Rocky Mountain GSP Rescue website for dogs available for adoption. If you are looking for a particular breed of dog, search for local rescues that adopt out that breed.
Today I was disheartened thinking about how many puppies and dogs there are in this world. People just don't get that there are too many of them already out there. There should be a fine for people who breed without regard for how many dogs are out there. I think breeders should be limited too. *steps off soapbox*
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5:12 PM
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Regret
I had some second thoughts over the weekend about giving up all the animals. I don't know why I'm more effected on the weekends. I think I miss the distraction of the cats and dogs. I was always paying attention to them and didn't have to think about anything that was going on with me. They kept me busy. And I think it finally sunk in that they are no longer mine. They belong to other people now. They are not my babies any more. I guess I needed to deal with that head on. I'm also trying to deal with my feelings about checking into dogs (even though I don't want one). I know I'm playing with fire. If the right dog comes along, I could be taken in. No need to tempt myself with looking. I have to let it go. I still haven't changed my screen saver. I need to do that. Seeing Skooter and Moped and Minnie and Paulie and Huxley and Blitz is not helping me get over them. It's just making matters worse. This really is a time in my life that I need to focus on me and the things I'm dealing with every day. Like I said, the animals were a great distraction. Now I have all the time that I need to delve into who I want to be and what I want to do. It seems scary but it also feels right.
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8:03 AM
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Samantha"s Prince of the Prairie

Skooter
Samantha's Prince of the Pines

Moped the Magnificent