The new and improved Huxley and Blitz ;)

and the bestest Huxley and Blitz

Holly

This weekend we watched the AKC/Eukanuba Dog Show. You can read an article on the winner, Holly, here. There is also a page on the AKC site about The Pointer. The Pointer is also known as the English Pointer. There are also German Shorthaired Pointer (like we've had) and the German Wirehaired Pointer. I'm doing some research to see if there are any other Pointer breeds.

For anyone looking for a GSP, remember to check the Rocky Mountain GSP Rescue website for dogs available for adoption. If you are looking for a particular breed of dog, search for local rescues that adopt out that breed.

Today I was disheartened thinking about how many puppies and dogs there are in this world. People just don't get that there are too many of them already out there. There should be a fine for people who breed without regard for how many dogs are out there. I think breeders should be limited too. *steps off soapbox*

Regret

I had some second thoughts over the weekend about giving up all the animals. I don't know why I'm more effected on the weekends. I think I miss the distraction of the cats and dogs. I was always paying attention to them and didn't have to think about anything that was going on with me. They kept me busy. And I think it finally sunk in that they are no longer mine. They belong to other people now. They are not my babies any more. I guess I needed to deal with that head on. I'm also trying to deal with my feelings about checking into dogs (even though I don't want one). I know I'm playing with fire. If the right dog comes along, I could be taken in. No need to tempt myself with looking. I have to let it go. I still haven't changed my screen saver. I need to do that. Seeing Skooter and Moped and Minnie and Paulie and Huxley and Blitz is not helping me get over them. It's just making matters worse. This really is a time in my life that I need to focus on me and the things I'm dealing with every day. Like I said, the animals were a great distraction. Now I have all the time that I need to delve into who I want to be and what I want to do. It seems scary but it also feels right.

It's the weekend again and I'm missing my pets. I feel bad that I didn't follow up on the cats. I just don't want to know if they were put to sleep. I pray that they were able to get homes. I still have all of them on my screen saver. I need to change that. I'm glad that I re-homed them all but I miss them nonetheless. I got rid of the box of Meaty Bones that has sat in the cupboard. I need to get all the pet stuff put on craigslist and get it out of the house. I'm definitely procrastinating on doing that.

David was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes this past week so giving up the pets is a good thing. He can't take a chance on getting scratched because of the diabetes and the cellulitis too. It'll probably keep up from getting a pet in the future but that's okay. I'm happy without pets even though I miss the ones I had.

Lynn sent me a beautiful story about an old man and a GSP. It made me tear up. GSP's are the best!

Passion

Last night I went out to the USCS Talent Show. It was awesome! The kids are very talented. Anyway, I realized that I didn't have to rush home to let the dogs out. It kind of made me sad to think that they are no longer my girls. And when I turned the corner into the community I looked over at the back door like I always would do when Huxley and Blitz were here. But it's when I pull into the garage that I have the biggest pang of missing them. I was so used to going into the house and saying hello and having happy pets there to greet me. I even missed the cats last night. Yesterday I kept thinkin that I heard Paulie. Once in a while I would check the living room window where Paulie and Minnie would sit to sun bathe. I haven't called the HS because I don't want to know what happened to them. They may still be there for all I know. David and I are still looking at dogs on craigslist. He finds them and then shares them with me. Some of them have been good looking dogs but I don't want to make any decisions for at least a year on pets. I think by then I'll be settled without them.

Lisa made a great suggestion last night - I should journal all the reasons that it was difficult having the pets so I don't 'forget' and get other pets. There were lots of things that just didn't work for me. Some examples are: always having to get up to let the dogs in and out, not sleeping through the night because Huxley and Blitz are hogging the bed, having to clean up the backyard and the kitty litter box, the carpet getting ruined, cat and dog hair all over everything, David's allergies to the pets, the chance of him getting cellulitis from being scratched and not being able to go away for very long because the dogs needed company. Oh, and lets not forget about the dogs getting into the trash and chewing on things. Again, they weren't bad dogs, they were just bored dogs. And that was our fault. Scooter and Moped were really bored because they were puppies. They need a ton more activity than we were providing for them. Oh well, what's done is done. It really is okay that they are all gone. I'm sad but I'm also glad. I'm not just the doggy door keeper anymore.

I'm still having trouble putting things into my day. I have so much time now that I don't have pets. And freedom. I have lots of freedom. I'm still trying to figure out what I have a passion for besides pets, that is. ;) I'm finding myself a little bit more each day. It's not an easy process. I didn't just go from owning cats and dogs to being, what? Who am I supposed to be now that I'm not the doggy door keeper?

Well, it's almost 7am so I'm going to go back to bed for a while.

Minnie and Paulie are gone

I brought them to the Humane Society on Friday. It's taken me a couple of days to post about it because it bothered me more than I thought it would. I thought it would be hard to get them into the travel kennel but they went in without much difficulty. The ride to the HS seemed very long. It is across town, but it seemed longer because it was such a sad drive. They meowed most of the way. The don't like being in the kennel and they sure don't like being in the car. They settled down when we got to the HS. I was really sad answering all the questions. The lady who checked us in told me that Minnie and Paulie would have a good chance of getting a home because they are fixed and are declawed (fronts only). That gave me some hope. I cried when I left. I had them keep the kennel because I couldn't leave with it empty. It would have been too hard. And it was a long ride home too. But I was able to do what needed to be done. David is allergic to cats and dogs so having them is not a good idea. I miss all of them though. I think about Huxley and Blitz often and I obviously still think about Minnie and Paulie. I keep thinking that I hear them or feel them on my legs. It makes me sad to know that they are not there.

But, on the positive side, all the doors are open in the house. I don't have to shut off all the rooms from the cats. It seems so much brighter in here. And it's definitely more open. I was able to vacuum without dodging all the animals. It was a lot quicker. The carpet still looks like crap but that will change when we can afford the new carpet.

I do feel kind of lonely because David is out golfing with the guys and there aren't any animals to keep me company. There is just so much more time in my day (sometimes that's good, sometimes that's bad) and such freedom in not having pets. I don't feel tied to my chair because the cats are on me or because I have to let the dogs in and out. There's definitely a down side though. The sadness in moments is overwhelming. Thankfully it's only for moments.

I keep picturing Minnie and Paulie in cages. I know they are not capable of hating me, but I guess I'm feeling guilty for having them for so long, almost 8 years, and now giving them up. It was $30 to surrender them. It wasn't an easy decision. I almost turned around and went home a whole bunch of times. But I knew that it would be a positive, albeit sad, event.

I feel like crying right now. It's just the sadness coming over me like a wave. I'm glad it's just a small wave. The sadness with the dogs was at points overwhelming and I felt like I was falling apart. But I just tell myself that the dogs are in a great home and I look at the picture of them playing with the squirrels and I know I've done the right thing.

I still check the Rescue web site. Habit I guess. There was an older pair of GSP's (Mack and Sable) and they were the same colors as Huxley and Blitz. That was hard. But I'm just going to be glad that Kris is doing the job that she is doing and getting these beautiful animals new homes.

Yesterday we went for a ride over to the Garden of the Gods. It was almost 70 degrees out. I couldn't believe how many people I saw with their dogs. I mean, there were just tons of them on the way there, in the park and on the way home. When I see people with their dogs I think about all the effort it takes to have a dog. I also think about missing them being with me.

Anyway, Minnie and Paulie and Huxley and Blitz are gone now. I'm sans pets. First time in over 15 years that David and I haven't had a pet. It was Elvis P. Bunnyboy, our rabbit, that started it all off. Then came Tabby and all the rest of the crew. Now they are all gone or rehomed. I miss them all.

Off and on

We just got back from a drive up to Woodland Park. Ute pass was beautiful today. Interesting thing - everybody seemed to have a dog with them. Okay, not everyone, but next to everyone. It ran through my mind that we could see the girls possibly, just walking in their neighborhood but that's not going to happen. David said he's missing them today too for some reason. I've been fine without them until today. I don't know why I'm thinking about them so much today, but I'm going to allow myself to feel the way I do and just ride it like a wave. It's okay to miss them. I had them for a year and a half. It's no wonder that I miss them. David also said today that he realized that we could have kept Skooter and Moped if he had put the time in with them to train them. I feel the same way. I did put in time training them, but not enough and not consistently.

Oh well. I'm bound to have feelings like this off and on for a while. I'm okay with that.

Still adjusting to them all being gone

Well, today I talked to David about definitely giving up the cats. I couldn't find a no-kill shelter to take them to, so I'll be taking them to the Humane Society. It's the same situation with the cats as with the dogs - I love them but I just don't want to care for them. They continually ruin the carpet by throwing up on it and they get hair everywhere. I know I will miss them and it will be weird to not have any pets, but I think that's the way it needs to be right now.

David is still looking at dogs on craigslist and I'm still checking the GSP site every day. I'm not checking it because I want a dog, I'm checking it because it makes me happy to see that a dog has been adopted. I have thought that if I ever get a dog again (and it won't be soon) it will have to be a GSP. I just love the breed and love the way they look, feel and behave. But I'm not in any position to even be thinking about a dog.

Paulie just kicked Minnie off my legs so he could sit there. Poor Minnie. I'd like to find the time tomorrow to take them to the HS. I need to just get it done.

I'm still missing Huxley and Blitz. When I start missing them I just look at the picture of them treeing the squirrell and I realize that they are where they belong. It's kind of ironic that they are up in Woodland Park where I'd like to live. I can't even imagine how happy they must be with so much land to run on and so many beasties to chase. I'm sure they are so incredibly happy being there and are loved tremendously. They are awesome dogs and deserve the best home. Their new owners said they sleep through the night now. That's probably because they are out all day playing. I do miss napping with them. And I still can't have a bowl of Cheerios without thinking about sharing with Huxley. Pretty much anything I eat I used to share with them. I think it will take time to get past that.

I don't miss Skooter and Moped like I used to miss them. I still think of them a lot but they are so far out of my daily life that I'm not sad about them. I do wonder what it would be like to still own Skooter. He is such a good dog. Moped was just too crazy. I'd have to really learn how to raise a calm dog before I could even think about owning one again. They didn't have a great life here though. They were either crated or tied up (because they were so out of control) and that wasn't any fun for them.

Anyway, I'll always get sucked in by GSP puppies and dogs. I just can't resist the face. But I can resist owning one.

I checked the GSP site and more dogs have been adopted. There's always more coming in though. I wish people would spay and neuter their dogs so the population would decrease. There are so many 'homeless' GSP's that Kris has to take in. It's sad. I've continued our donation to the Rescue because I really believe in the work that Kris is doing. I wish it could be more. One day I'm hoping it will be more.

Just missing my boys and girls today. I do okay most of the time but once in a while, the feeling just hits me and I miss them. I hope that we get updates on them in the future (but I won't expect that to happen). I was looking at pictures of Skooter when he visited his mom, Harvest and his sister from another litter. They are/were such beautiful, even tempered dogs. And I was looking at the 'family photos' that Kathy put together on Moped. There's a picture of the first time David held him when he was just weeks old. Ah, the good old days when we were too dense to know that dogs just didn't fit into our lives. lol

I feel better now that I've been able to think about them. Back to the real world again.

A lovely day

Just thinking

I'm thinking about dogs tonight. Or should I say I'm thinking of all the errors I've made as a dog owner. There are so many things I would do different now that I know what I know. And what is it that I know? I didn't train my dogs early enough or often enough. I did try some with Skooter and Moped but I started too late and wasn't consistent enough with them. Huxley and Blitz are doing great with their new owners because they know how to train a GSP. I don't. Before I can ever consider a dog again, I need to learn how to 'grow' a great dog. I was thinking that getting the dog trained as a hunting dog and as a service dog would help. That was the biggest problem I had when I owned the dogs: I didn't have control over them. The dogs ran the show. It can't be like that. And I would never, ever have a GSP unless I had at least a few acres of property fenced in so they could run around a lot. And I'd have to be committed to walking them EVERY day. And I'm not anywhere near ready to do any of those things so a dog just isn't in my future. But, when one is, I think it will have to be a GSP. I just adore the breed. I really couldn't imagine having any other breed of dog. I look at other dogs and puppies and they are cute, but they just don't compare to the GSP.

I know I'm not ready to own a dog. I don't know that I ever will be ready. I know I'm not a good dog owner. But it doesn't keep me from loving the dogs I've had. I'll always see them as my boys and girls. I'll always miss them. But I know that I just can't handle a dog at this point in my life. And that makes me sad.

I have been doing some research on therapy dogs. There are what they call Emotional Support Dogs for people like me who deal with depression (amongst other things). They are not Service Dogs. They don't get to go into public places like service dogs do. But they are trained to help people how have emotional issues. Maybe a dog like that, one that is already trained would be a good dog for me one day. It would still have to be a GSP though. I'd have to get it as a puppy and put it through ES training.

I know. I know. I shouldn't even be thinking about this stuff, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't. I still check the Rescue website daily to see if any dogs have been placed. I'm always happy when a GSP gets adopted. And I just like looking at their sweet faces. I wish I could do more for the Rescue (beyond or in addition to our monthly donation). It's such a worthy cause.

It's funny but once you have a GSP, there just is no other dog for you. Which isn't great for someone like me who takes them in and then lets them go. One of my friends said that I have a mental illness about dogs. She was serious. I don't know. Maybe I do have a screw loose when it comes to GSP's. But gosh, they are just the most wonderful dogs in the world. So smart (when trained) and such great companions (again, when they are trained).

Guess I'm feeling nostalgic and meloncholy tonight. Minnie has been sitting on me for hours. Whenever I sit, she's on me. And Paulie, when he's not on me, is on David. I want to let them go next week. I just can't handle them any more. If I bring them to the Humane Society they may be euthanized, but I feel like it's them or me. Their lives or mine. I want my life back sans cats, dogs or any other pet. No fish, hamsters, gerbils or squid. Nada.

Still, GSP's rock! And they always will.

01/01/2009 Update on Huxley and Blitz

Another update from Kris:

Happy New Year, Samantha!

Another update on Huxley and Blitz.

Enjoy!

>>>I"m happy to report that the adoption is still going smoothly. They have established a routine: wake us up at 7:00AM, go out, eat, and then we take our walk. The rest of the day is spent harrassing squirrels as you can see in the attached picture. The picture also shows the fence at the back of our property. To date, there has been no attempt by them to jump or climb over it. The picture also shows how our property slopes down to the fence so they get good exercise running to and from the fence.<<<<
--
Kris

It makes me so happy to see that they are content and having fun. They are living exactly where I would want them to live. They look happy. And it sounds like they are getting the routine down too. No word on Blitz whining so I think it was a phenomenon caused by me somehow. I'm sure that Blitz is so tired by the time she gets in that she doesn't have any reason to whine. She's not bored anymore.

I'll always miss them and I hope that we can get future updates on them.

Blitz rocks!

I almost forgot to post this picture. Blitzie climbed up on my footstool and tried to get into my lap. It's a gliding footstool so she was rocking back and forth. It was very funny. Huxley wanted to get in on it too. My 60 pound lap dogs. LOL

Bits and pieces

I checked the Rescue website and there are 3 more dogs that have been adopted. That's so cool. I wish they all could get homes for Christmas.

I think I've finally resolved in my mind that the reason that I kept the dogs so long is because I felt needed by the dogs. Being home all day by myself had me feeling empty but after a lot of thought I can see that I have a great life and that I don't need dogs that don't fit into my life to make me feel needed.

I did a quiz on Facebook, "What king of dog are you?". I am a Maltese. I looked them up online and they are so cute. They are a toy breed, a small dog. That's what I should have had all along - a small dog. I don't want a dog now but maybe one day I could consider it. I'd like a dog that I could walk instead of one that walks me. LOL And it would be nice to have a trained dog, one that would sleep in it's own bed instead of hogging mine. But that's way off in the future. It's not something I would do now.

The cats are really enjoying the dogs being gone. They are usually on me or in bed (sound familiar?). I figured out a way to decorate the house for Christmas so that the cats can't get to the decorations. It looks very Christmas-y in here now. Paulie did try to get the paper chains I made but I have them up high enough that all he can do is look at them. I was digging through the decorations and found a tree that Zach had made for us years ago. It was nice to see that I've kept it all these years. His mom isn't doing very well. She's grieving in a big way. I guess I would too if I were in her shoes. It's so sad. I sent them a sympathy basket that has a teddy bear in it with a ribbon that says "Thinking of You". I hope they can enjoy it.

It's nice to know that all the dogs have good homes and that I don't have to worry about them. I miss their company, but I love the freedom I have now. All of my focus was on them and I just didn't get to anything else. Now I have lots of time to focus on me and David and actually living my life.

I have to prepare myself mentally for re-homing the cats. They have taken over the house and I want my house back. Maybe one day I'll figure out how to have my home the way I want it and to have a pet too. But until then, I really don't want any pets. Minnie and Paulie are very affectionate so I think they would do okay with being re-homed. I just have to get up the nerve to give them up.

I'm sitting here eating Christmas candies and there is no one begging for some. It's kind of nice. I know it was my fault that the dogs didn't behave. I didn't require them to. I taught them a lot of bad habits (sleeping on the bed, sharing food, etc.). And they certainly weren't going to learn how to walk on a leash if I never took them out. Their new owner is taking them for walks separately. That's a good thing. I bet they love it.

I'll update again when I decide I have the energy to re-home the cats.

Lost without them

I wish I could say that life is so much better without the dogs, but I'd be fibbing if I did. Some things are better, but I sure do miss their company. David and I have been talking about all of the dogs (Skooter, Moped, Huxley and Blitz) and how much we miss them. I don't think we ever got over giving up Skooter and Moped. I'm sure they are great dogs now but I just couldn't handle them and didn't have the appropriate home or yard for them. I'm glad they all are where they should be. I know they all have ended up in wonderful homes and they deserve that. Kris did an amazing job placing them. I am so in awe of the work that she does. I wish I could do work like that. I wish I could give dogs a home. But I'm not set up for that. It takes a very special person to run a Rescue and I am grateful that Kris has been there for so many dogs. I've been looking at the updated site http://rockymtngsp.org and there are already quite a few dogs listed and I know there are more that need homes. David and I tell everyone we can about the Rescue and what good work is being done there.

Anyway, just missing my dogs. The cats are probably here for a while since there are no "no-kill" shelters taking any cats in right now. And the Humane Society of the Pikes Peak Region just got there budget slashed by about 80% so they aren't going to be hanging on to animals either (especially eight year old cats). Paulie is almost always in someone's lap. Minnie is always on me, near me, with me. I'm sure that like with the dogs, when the time is right, we will get homes for the cats. Until then I need to make do with what I have and make as many changes in the house as I can, short of replacing the carpet. That will have to wait until the cats go adios.

So, yeah, just thinking about my dogs and wondering what they all are up to tonight. A winter storm is moving in tonight or tomorrow. I sonder if Skooter and Moped still play in the snow. I know that Huxley and Blitz didn't play in the snow here but maybe they'll take advantage of their five acres and play a little bit. I want the best for all of them.

Tonight I was watching a show and there were Beagle puppies in one scene. They were so cute. I guess that's what got me thinking of the dogs. I don't see myself with a dog ever again. I'm just not a good dog owner. I love them but I don't give them the discipline and leadership that dogs really need. That makes me sad.

Monday night is Bonnie's memorial service. I'll be going with friends from group. Susan and Marianne will be there too. I guess it will be another opportunity to feel the grief of all the losses I've had in the last 3 weeks. I know I'll think about my dogs and I'll feel a bit guilty for doing that but they were in my life every minute of the day. I am still kind of lost without them.

Progress Report - Huxley and Blitz

I received a wonderful email from the Rescue today:

Hi Samantha!

Here is the latest update from Blitz and Huxley's new owners. I think
they are there to stay.

Enjoy!


>>This has been a fabulous week!! As I told you when you called, they both had an uneventful ride to our house. As I mentioned to you, the first night was somewhat hectic. Blitz got us up at midnight, 3:00AM, and 5:30AM to go out.
That is no longer a problem. They both get up and stretch during the
night, but they don't demand to go out.
Around 7:00AM, Blitz puts her front legs over my body to let me know
it's time to get up, and they both race to the back porch door to go
out. I tried walking them both at the same time, but they were able
to pull pretty hard so I had to walk them individually this week. I
found that by using a choke collar, a light jerk stopped the pulling
so as soon as I get another choke collar, I'll give another try at
walking them together. Another area of concern was how they would
react to the fenced yard. No problem. I watched them every time they
went out, and they made no attempt to either jump or climb over the
fence.

My wife and I are extremely happy about the way they have adapted to
our care. They are a very affectionate couple, and having seen them
at play and rest this week, I have to agree with you that separating
them for adoption would have been tragic. I can tell you now that you
will not be getting them back from us.

Snowy night

The snow makes me thing about the dogs. Skooter and Moped loved to play in the snow. Huxley and Blitz didn't like it as much but they would tolerate it to go out and do their business. I miss seeing paw prints in the snow on the deck. I realized today that I still haven't cleaned the glass on the back door. Huxley and Blitz left many nose prints on the door. I guess it's snowing pretty good up in Woodland Park so I'm sure the girls are tucked away inside by the wood burning stove that I imagine is there. After dinner tonight I thought about how much food I share with those two. I can't seem to eat all of anything because I'm used to sharing with Huxley and Blitz. But those two are happy no matter where they are so I'm not going to worry about them.

Missing them all

Friday I slept all day because I have a cold. It was weird not having the dogs get me up. I was in bed a lot and it made me miss them more. They would always be in bed with me. David had hockey Friday night and I was home 'alone'. I did better this weekend than I did last weekend. I guess I needed that good cry last week.

Yesterday was Zach's memorial service. We left the house at 7:45 am and didn't get home until around 4pm. I kept worrying about getting home to the dogs. No matter how many times I told myself that they weren't home, I just kept thinking about them. I would try to remind myself that they are in their new home and probably loving every minute of it. I mean, come on, anyone that buys them matching dog pillows has to be just awesome.

For some reason today, Sunday, was harder than the rest of the weekend as far as missing the girls. I'm not sure why. Maybe it was because I was in bed again a lot today because of this cold. The cats do keep me company though. But they will have to go soon too. David's allergies to them are just too much for him. And the cats are always on our laps which isn't good for David. So tomorrow I need to call the no kill shelters and see if anyone will take them in. If not, I'll have to consider the Humane Society. That will definitely be my last option though. I don't want anything to happen to them.

Minnie is on me right now and Paulie is on David. They are spoiled. Earlier today one of them was up on top of the fridge. I have trouble keeping them off the counters. I've been using the spray bottle on them but they don't remember that I sprayed them 20 seconds later. Oh well.

I had to talk to David tonight about not wanting a dog at all. It wasn't that I didn't want Huxley and Blitz. I love them. I just shouldn't have a dog at all. I'm not good at discipline and dogs need that. Anyway, all four of them are on my mind (Skooter, Moped, Huxley and Blitz). I miss them all.

Huxley shaking (funny audio in a video)

This video is almost impossible to see but if you listen closely you can hear Huxley shaking. It's funny.

Spoiled

David and I were just talking about Moped. We wonder what he looks like now as a grown dog? I bet he's so handsome. If their owners send pictures to the Rescue we might be able to see them. I know Hux and Blitz have been gone less than a week, but I'd like to see pictures of them in their new life too. I'm sure he and Skooter are so well behaved and are a great addition to these families. We have seen pictures of Skooter in his new life and he looks so happy. We wish the same for all of our other dogs too.

It's funny but today I sprayed some non-stick stuff on a pan and realized I was waiting for Huxley and Blitz to come running. For some reason they always ran out to the kitchen when I used the non-stick spray. Crazy, the things that make me think of them. I do miss petting them. They were a source of comfort at times but mostly they were difficult for me to handle. I'm sure their new owners, being GSP owners for over 26 years, will know exactly how to discipline them. But it's also nice to know that they already have matching pillows. They will still be spoiled. And that's good.

In front of the woodburning stove

I can just picture Huxley and Blitz on the floor next to a wood burning stove warming their achy bones. I guess I just need to picture them in a warm, loving setting. I can't believe they got a home in less than a week. And together. I'm just in awe. God sure was looking out over this situation. It's nice to have something good happen after the tragedy of the last week and a half. I hope that we get pictures one day so I can see how happy they are. I did ask Kris that if she gets pictures of Skooter and Moped, I'd like to see those too. I may have given them up, but I've never stopped loving any of them. I wish I could have kept them all. But that's not where my life has me right now. That makes me sad, but I'm doing my best to keep things in perspective. I never think of them as just dogs. They are my furry kids. I guess I feel like a parent would feel adopting out a child (okay, maybe that's overly dramatic, but it's my Dog Blog lol). Whatever the case, I miss them. So, I'll just picture them happy and content living up in Woodland Park with their new owners. That makes me happy.