Still missing them

Skooter turned 4 on May 1st. Hard to believe. Moped is 3. Huxley and Blitz are almost 10 and Harley is 11 months tomorrow. I know that they all are doing great in their new homes. Makes me sad that I couldn't give them what they needed to make it work.

I've been thinking a lot about all of my dogs the last couple of days. David went inpatient from the ER on Friday night. If I had a dog or dogs it would have been even more hectic than it was. He had to have his gallbladder removed on Sunday. He was home on Monday. I'm glad I didn't have to do double duty as wife and dog owner. But it also was kind of sad to come home to an empty house all those nights.

I sent another email to Cindy asking about Harley. I feel bad that I can't seem to let go of him and the rest of them. I don't think I'll ever be happy with or without a dog. When I have a dog I feel overwhelmed. When I don't have a dog I feel so empty and sad in that doggy place in my heart. A dog is not in my immediate future though because school starts in 27 days. I don't feel ready for it today but after this weekend I don't feel ready for anything.

If I had just hung in there with Skooter and Moped I probably would have 2 great dogs right now but I just couldn't get past the stress. I have to say that my experience with Harley was the worst of all of them but I still miss him a lot. As always, I know I've done the right thing for my life at this point. It doesn't make it any less sad or easy to deal with.

I guess I just plain miss my dogs. *tears*