Wondering about Harley

I wonder how Harley is doing with his training in Las Vegas. I'm sure he is doing well and having a good time. He needs to be busy all the time and I just couldn't do that for him. David said he is missing Harley more than usual today. Me too for some reason. Every time I see his picture I get a pang of sadness. I think I've decided to not go to school this summer because I'd have to get a student loan to attend and I just can't bring myself to go into debt for anything. Should I have kept Harley? Probably not. It wasn't just time I wasn't giving him. I also wasn't giving him the opportunities that he needed (walking, playing, etc.). I do miss having a dog though. I was looking at the RMGSP Rescue site yesterday. JUST looking! Honest. GSP's have too much energy for me. I just wanted to look to squelch the "I need a dog" feeling. It worked. Looking at the GSP's reminded me of how much work it is to have a dog. I've never liked cleaning the back yard and I sure don't miss doing it now that I don't have a dog. I'm just not the right person to own a dog. At least not now.

Harley is in Las Vegas

I got an email back from Cindy. Harley is in Las Vegas and will be there another 2 1/2 weeks. He's doing well. She said he is a very happy boy. I'm glad to hear that he is doing so well. She said that if she gets any video, she will forward it on to me. I miss having a dog but not enough to want another one right now.

Still missing them

Skooter turned 4 on May 1st. Hard to believe. Moped is 3. Huxley and Blitz are almost 10 and Harley is 11 months tomorrow. I know that they all are doing great in their new homes. Makes me sad that I couldn't give them what they needed to make it work.

I've been thinking a lot about all of my dogs the last couple of days. David went inpatient from the ER on Friday night. If I had a dog or dogs it would have been even more hectic than it was. He had to have his gallbladder removed on Sunday. He was home on Monday. I'm glad I didn't have to do double duty as wife and dog owner. But it also was kind of sad to come home to an empty house all those nights.

I sent another email to Cindy asking about Harley. I feel bad that I can't seem to let go of him and the rest of them. I don't think I'll ever be happy with or without a dog. When I have a dog I feel overwhelmed. When I don't have a dog I feel so empty and sad in that doggy place in my heart. A dog is not in my immediate future though because school starts in 27 days. I don't feel ready for it today but after this weekend I don't feel ready for anything.

If I had just hung in there with Skooter and Moped I probably would have 2 great dogs right now but I just couldn't get past the stress. I have to say that my experience with Harley was the worst of all of them but I still miss him a lot. As always, I know I've done the right thing for my life at this point. It doesn't make it any less sad or easy to deal with.

I guess I just plain miss my dogs. *tears*