I'm getting a dog

I've decided that I am going to get a dog. After much consideration and discussion with Marianne, I think it would be a good thing for me to get a dog. Beside the dog being a good companion and making me happy it will give me a chance to work out my commitment and responsibility issues. The worst thing that could happen is that I realize that I am still not ready for the commitment and responsibility and I would have to find the dog a good home. But giving up the dog is NOT going to be an option this time. I know now that the first 2 years of having a dog (whether it's a puppy or an older dog) is an adjustment period for not just the dog but for me too. Things will be challenging during the time that I'm getting the dog adjusted to living here and that's going to be okay this time. What I thought about was how children are difficult for parents but they don't give them away. They get through the rough times with encouragement, support, humor and sometimes some tears. I need to allow myself the imperfections of owning a dog and the imperfections of being human.

This dog will allow me to work through issues that I've been dealing with forever. I gave up my other dogs because I thought that someone else could do a better job with them than I could. But as I look back I realize that I did a very good job with my dogs. I just wasn't mentally in the right space to have Skooter and Moped. Huxley and Blitz, well, I just thought they deserved better than me. I know now that I am deserving of having a dog and that the dog can get as much from me as I can get from it. And I know it's okay to have difficult times with a dog. It's not all going to be perfect.

I'm still ready to wait for the right dog. I don't want to make a rash decision about a dog and end up regretting it for the life of the dog. I've already given up enough. I miss all of my dogs. If I had been in therapy back then, maybe I could have kept my dogs. But that's water under the bridge now. Now I'm looking for a dog who will help me get through my therapy. It's okay for me to count on a dog to help me out. Dogs like to have jobs and this dog's job will be to help me move forward as a person.

I do have some doubts, not about the dog but about me. Will I be a good owner? Will I have what it takes to train him/her? I know now that I will be a good owner and I am good at training my dogs. So it's a dog for me. I just don't know when or who but that will sort itself out.