Broken Heart

I talked to Marianne today about the dogs. I cried when I talked about them. I miss Huxley and Blitz. I had a dream about Skooter and Moped last night. I miss them too. I'm not sure what it is that I miss. I know it's a lot of work having a dog (or two) but there is something that makes all the work worthwhile. But what is it? I guess it's the unconditional love they had for me. I loved coming home and having them greet me. Of course I didn't like when I got to the kitchen and found that they had been in the trash. See that's the thing for just about anything I can think of that I liked there was also something about it that I didn't like. I think I've been thinking about them more since I started walking. It would be nice to have a walking buddy. I see everyone up at Palmer Park with their dogs and I wonder why I can't have a dog. Could I do it right this time? Would I end up giving away another dog? I couldn't do that. It would hurt so much. I know that I never should have given any of them away. It was a responsiblity that I took on and dropped. That wasn't a good thing for me. The dogs have all lucked out and have great homes with other people but that doesn't make this any easier. I don't know what I'm thinking right now. I just know that I miss my dogs. Having another dog wouldn't necessarily make that sadness go away. Marianne told me to pray about the sadness I feel and let God do His thing with my broken heart.