It's funny the way things work out

Harley remains tethered most of the day because of his biting. I try to get him outside as much as possible so he's not tethered as much. The weather has been nice so he's been enjoying being outside. I went out in the yard with him yesterday. I was cleaning up the yard and he was trying to help by getting under my feet. lol He did go after my shoes while I was out there but it wasn't the whole time I was out there.

I continue to give Harley his Prozac daily. I haven't noticed any change though. I don't think the DAP collar is having any effect at all. He still doesn't like it when I leave the house. He whines and screeches when I go to put my shoes on. I think he settles down as soon as I leave though. I've listened from the garage and he doesn't bark the whole time I'm gone. He's always fine when I get home too. I keep him in his kennel for about 15 minutes so he can get used to me being home without jumping all over me or going after my shoes.

I always have good intentions when I get a dog and believe I've made a commitment to the dog but I'm realizing that my commitment does not last. I think that maybe I just shouldn't own a dog. I love Harley and I love his companionship (when he's not biting!) but I don't love all the things I have to do to take care of him (cleaning the yard, working with him all the time, taking him for walks, etc.). I let my emotions get the best of me and convinced myself that I couldn't live without a dog. I believe that I was wrong. I do think I could live without a dog. There are of course things that I would miss about Harley but there would be more things that I don't miss.

I know anyone reading this must think that I'm a crazy person when it comes to dogs. And maybe I am. Like I said though, I have good intentions. They just don't pan out for me. I keep asking myself what the point of having a dog is if he's always in his kennel, outside or tethered. There is no relationship in this type of situation. I'm just feeling more distant from Harley. Some people think that he will just grow out of this biting thing but I don't know that I want to wait that long. Maybe he'd be just fine with someone else. I don't know.

At least Harley doesn't act up while he's tethered. I know he doesn't like it but he's not going crazy to get off the tether. And because I'm using the chain leash he's not able to break the leash. He must be getting bored because he started chasing his tail. I'm going to let him out so he can play in the yard. Well he doesn't want to go outside but he's occupied with chewing on a bone so I'll leave him off the tether.

I've either got to put 100% into this situation with Harley or I need to give him up to someone who will put in 100% with him. It's not fair to me or to Harley to not put in the effort. I guess I'm just feeling beaten down this week because of all the biting. I know he doesn't mean to hurt me and it's trying to be mean. I know he's just trying to get my attention in the only way he knows how at this point. He is getting better about sitting in front of me instead of just biting me right away. So maybe there is some progress. It's hard to see when you're in the middle of something like this.

I think that David wouldn't be very happy if I gave Harley up. I know he wants me to keep working with Harley but he's not the one who is getting bitten. I am. And he's not the one who has to work with Harley 24/7. I am. I wanted a companion dog not a high maintenance puppy. I guess I should have thought it through even more than I did before getting Harley. I know I was just missing Huxley and Blitz and wanted to heal that hurt and Harley did heal my broken heart but now he's breaking my heart. It's funny the way things work out.

I know in my heart and my head what I want to do but I'm just afraid of giving up on this too soon. I think I need to do something though before it gets totally out of hand. It could get to a point that Harley isn't manageable at all and I don't want that to happen. There is no good outcome with that scenario. I need to talk to David and see where he is with this. I know that I'm the one who has to make the decision since I am Harley's caretaker but not being quite sure how David feels about the whole Harley situation makes it harder to make a decision. I guess I just want and need some support no matter what I end up doing.