Adjusting

I slept in late today because I'm getting a cold. It was nice to be able to stay in bed and not have Blitzie waking me up or having to get up to let them out. The cats did stay on the bed with me though. I feel better today about my decision to give the dogs up. And I'm grateful for Kitty and Lisa bringing them down to the Rescue for me. Riding with them for about an hour, knowing I was going to have to say goodbye to them, would have been torture. I'm glad I didn't have to go through that.

Still no word on services for Bonnie or Zach. It's nice to know that whenever the services are I'll have the freedom to go and say goodbye without worrying about what to do with the dogs.

It's interesting to know that I can feel two completely different feelings at the same time - missing the girls and knowing they don't fit in my life either.

David said he was wondering how the girls were doing at the Rescue. I think they are probably doing great being with so many other dogs and getting a lot of activity. They'll be up all day instead of sleeping all day. That will encourage them to sleep through the night.

I still look out the back door thinking they will be there waiting to come in. Part of me still wants them back but I know it's best for them and for me that things are the way they are.

Tomorrow I'm going to make phone calls about the cats and see if I can get them placed in a Rescue. I don't want to keep them much longer because of the allergy problem David has with them and because I just don't want pets right now. I've had to work on accepting that it's okay to not want to have pets, that it just doesn't work for me at this point. If I need to be around a dog, I can always go visit Kitty or Lisa and see Sammy or Woody.

I'm going to try using my CPAP tonight. I haven't been wearing it because the dogs would get me up during the night and I'd have to fuss with getting the stupid thing back on and by the time I did I was awake and had trouble going back to sleep. I'll probably feel a lot better if I use it.

The cats are in bed already. LOL Some things don't change.