Lost without them

I wish I could say that life is so much better without the dogs, but I'd be fibbing if I did. Some things are better, but I sure do miss their company. David and I have been talking about all of the dogs (Skooter, Moped, Huxley and Blitz) and how much we miss them. I don't think we ever got over giving up Skooter and Moped. I'm sure they are great dogs now but I just couldn't handle them and didn't have the appropriate home or yard for them. I'm glad they all are where they should be. I know they all have ended up in wonderful homes and they deserve that. Kris did an amazing job placing them. I am so in awe of the work that she does. I wish I could do work like that. I wish I could give dogs a home. But I'm not set up for that. It takes a very special person to run a Rescue and I am grateful that Kris has been there for so many dogs. I've been looking at the updated site http://rockymtngsp.org and there are already quite a few dogs listed and I know there are more that need homes. David and I tell everyone we can about the Rescue and what good work is being done there.

Anyway, just missing my dogs. The cats are probably here for a while since there are no "no-kill" shelters taking any cats in right now. And the Humane Society of the Pikes Peak Region just got there budget slashed by about 80% so they aren't going to be hanging on to animals either (especially eight year old cats). Paulie is almost always in someone's lap. Minnie is always on me, near me, with me. I'm sure that like with the dogs, when the time is right, we will get homes for the cats. Until then I need to make do with what I have and make as many changes in the house as I can, short of replacing the carpet. That will have to wait until the cats go adios.

So, yeah, just thinking about my dogs and wondering what they all are up to tonight. A winter storm is moving in tonight or tomorrow. I sonder if Skooter and Moped still play in the snow. I know that Huxley and Blitz didn't play in the snow here but maybe they'll take advantage of their five acres and play a little bit. I want the best for all of them.

Tonight I was watching a show and there were Beagle puppies in one scene. They were so cute. I guess that's what got me thinking of the dogs. I don't see myself with a dog ever again. I'm just not a good dog owner. I love them but I don't give them the discipline and leadership that dogs really need. That makes me sad.

Monday night is Bonnie's memorial service. I'll be going with friends from group. Susan and Marianne will be there too. I guess it will be another opportunity to feel the grief of all the losses I've had in the last 3 weeks. I know I'll think about my dogs and I'll feel a bit guilty for doing that but they were in my life every minute of the day. I am still kind of lost without them.