Eventually

I cried for about 2 hours last night. I cried my eyes out. I cried out for my girls. I needed to cry. Now, for the most part, the crying is over with. I was able to come into the house twice and not have the girls there and I did okay. When we took a nap the cats slept with us. Last night we all slept better, including the cats. I'm glad the cats are behaving. For as long as we have them, they need to not be a bother. It's snowing out today and I don't have any dogs tracking snow into the house and then jumping on my bed. That's a good thing. Of course, Huxley and Blitz being lazy dogs, they would probably be in bed most of the day. I hope they are doing okay down at the Rescue. I really do worry about them, not that they won't be taken care of, I know Kris is wonderful with the dogs but it's just a 'mom' worrying about her furry kids. David misses them too. I think he thought he wouldn't miss them, but he does. But honestly, I feel so much relief knowing that they will eventually have better homes. And now I can focus on getting my life back on track.

We still haven't heard anything about a service for Bonnie or Zach. Honestly, now, I'd rather not have to attend a service. I'm wanting to move on. I don't know if that's inconsiderate or not. Maybe it's just another part of the grief process. I think a person can only take so much sadness at one time before defense mechanisms start working.

Anyway, I hope that Huxley and Blitz will be okay. Eventually I'll be okay without them.