Passion

Last night I went out to the USCS Talent Show. It was awesome! The kids are very talented. Anyway, I realized that I didn't have to rush home to let the dogs out. It kind of made me sad to think that they are no longer my girls. And when I turned the corner into the community I looked over at the back door like I always would do when Huxley and Blitz were here. But it's when I pull into the garage that I have the biggest pang of missing them. I was so used to going into the house and saying hello and having happy pets there to greet me. I even missed the cats last night. Yesterday I kept thinkin that I heard Paulie. Once in a while I would check the living room window where Paulie and Minnie would sit to sun bathe. I haven't called the HS because I don't want to know what happened to them. They may still be there for all I know. David and I are still looking at dogs on craigslist. He finds them and then shares them with me. Some of them have been good looking dogs but I don't want to make any decisions for at least a year on pets. I think by then I'll be settled without them.

Lisa made a great suggestion last night - I should journal all the reasons that it was difficult having the pets so I don't 'forget' and get other pets. There were lots of things that just didn't work for me. Some examples are: always having to get up to let the dogs in and out, not sleeping through the night because Huxley and Blitz are hogging the bed, having to clean up the backyard and the kitty litter box, the carpet getting ruined, cat and dog hair all over everything, David's allergies to the pets, the chance of him getting cellulitis from being scratched and not being able to go away for very long because the dogs needed company. Oh, and lets not forget about the dogs getting into the trash and chewing on things. Again, they weren't bad dogs, they were just bored dogs. And that was our fault. Scooter and Moped were really bored because they were puppies. They need a ton more activity than we were providing for them. Oh well, what's done is done. It really is okay that they are all gone. I'm sad but I'm also glad. I'm not just the doggy door keeper anymore.

I'm still having trouble putting things into my day. I have so much time now that I don't have pets. And freedom. I have lots of freedom. I'm still trying to figure out what I have a passion for besides pets, that is. ;) I'm finding myself a little bit more each day. It's not an easy process. I didn't just go from owning cats and dogs to being, what? Who am I supposed to be now that I'm not the doggy door keeper?

Well, it's almost 7am so I'm going to go back to bed for a while.